In Vitro to Hopefully Pregnancy and now on to Adoption Fingers Crossed

Our First Two Situations

2010-05-03T06:16:00.000-07:00

In the world of adoption there are two main things you focus on which are situations and matching. Just so you know what I am talking about in my posts I will explain both.
Situations- Are each baby that is up for adoption born or unborn.
Matching- In the adoption process the adoptive parents are given information such as the sex and race of the baby, the cost of the adoption (because all situations are different prices), and the medical history of the birth mom/family. In the medical history we are given as much information as she will tell. It also has her drug history during the pregnancy. After looking at the cost and medical information as a couple me and Stephen decide if it is a situation that we either want to present on or we do not. Presenting means that our adoption profile will be given to the birth mom so that she can choose who she wants her baby to go to. Our adoption profile is a lot of pictures of us, our family, our house, and our community, it also has different general information about us.
So far since we started this process we have been presented with two situations.
Situation 1- The first situation was presented us last week. Even though our consultant knew we probably would not present on this situation, she wanted us to make that call. The birth mom was due this week in Utah. It was an African American girl which is what we want and the price was perfect. But the medical history is not a situation that we were willing to take on. There was a long line of mental illness that ran in her family. It broke my heart that we had to turn this one down because I really liked what the Mom had to say in her interview questions.
Situation 2- The second situation was presented to us last Wednesday night. The birth mom had already delivered the baby in Louisiana on Monday. The baby was an African American girl which was perfect. The price of the adoption was a little more than we wanted to pay but the baby was healthy and the medical history looked good. Automatically Stephen and I decided to present on it. Our consultant told us that the birth Mom wanted a couple that is under 35 and wanted the family to have another adopted child. We knew from the beginning that we were not exactly what she wanted but she could always change her mind. She was suppose to get our profile on Thursday so we waited all day to hear something but we heard nothing. Then we were told on Thursday that she had the profiles but wanted to sleep on it. So we waited all day Friday on pins and needles to hear something. Later Friday our consultant called to let us know that the agency did not give her the profiles until late Friday after she signed the papers. Her choice was between three families. One of the other families we knew about but the other family we knew nothing about. The family we knew about was over 45 and had 6 kids. So pretty much it seemed like it was between us and the unknown couple. Finally at about three o'clock on Saturday afternoon we got the call that the birthmom had choosen the other couple. It turned out that the unknown couple was under 35 and had another African American adopted child. So they were exactly what the birthmom wanted.
Honestly as much as I wanted that baby we are ok that we didn't get her. First of all since it didn't work out then it was not meant to be our baby. Second I really wanted to meet the birthmom and I was sad that we had missed 6 days of the baby's life. I know that our little Elle is still out there. So right now we are just waiting on more situations :) Hopefully there will be some more this week. Until next time love and baby dust!

Woo Hoo!!!

2010-04-22T20:20:00.001-07:00

Woo Hoo!!! Our FBI finger prints came back today. They normally take 10-13 weeks but thanks to my mom the miracle worker they were back in 8 business days!!! Now we are all done with our paperwork for our home study.
Now we are on to filling out paperwork for the adoption agencies.
Mom and I also started painting the babies room and started paint the crib :) So excited it is all coming together!!
Until next time love and baby dust!!

Maybe May

2010-04-21T17:31:00.000-07:00

Let me first start out by saying that I am sorry for not updating as often as I used to. I have been getting in trouble by people wanting to hear updates...LOL. So here is the update. On my last post I said it would be around June when my finger prints came back from the FBI. Through my Mom the miracle worker it looks like they could be back a lot sooner...like maybe this week. (FINGERS CROSSED)That means if that happens we can present our profile too birth moms that are due in May.
In a previous post I said that we were open to any sex and any race. But being the planner that I am I could not stand not knowing if it will be a boy or a girl. So Stephen and I talked and we decided that we are going to get a girl. We are still not picky about race. To us a baby is a baby :) We also decided on a name. Her name will be Elle Elizabeth Jakse. I have wanted to use the name Elle for a long time because I am obsessed with Legally Blonde if you didn't know. Elizabeth is Stephen's Moms name so we also wanted to use that. So there you have it...that is her name :)
So to get ready for Elle's arrival we have been quite busy getting her room ready. Her room will be my old craft room. We have to replace the flooring because I spilled turquoise all over the carpet..oops. We decided instead of replacing the carpet we will put down wood laminates. Last weekend we took out all the carpets and repainted the base boards. This week we are painted the walls. Then this weekend we are putting in the floors. Oh, I also picked out her bedding and went to Lenox to get it at Pottery Barn Kids :) It is so cute it is called Penelope. I have also been getting outfits here and there and Stephen got her his favorite books. LOL can you tell we are excited!!
Well I think that is all that is going on now. I promiss to update more often :)So until next time love and baby dust :)

Update on Our Adoption Journey

2010-04-16T18:06:00.000-07:00

I have to start by saying THANK YOU so much to all our friends and family for their support!! Everyone is so excited about the adoption. Our future baby is going to be so lucky to have so many people that love and care about him/her.

On Tuesday Stephen and I met with C to talk about her possible being our adoption consultant. It was an easy decision because we loved her. She was so nice and knew a lot about adoption. I truly felt like we were in good hands! We had a list of questions and she had all the answers that I was hoping for. She brought us many different adoption profile books to look at so we know what kind of pictures she needs and just to get an idea of what they are like. All I can say is thank God I have taken so many pictures throughout the years because see needs 80-100 pictures. After Stephen and I decided to use C as our adoption consultant, we completed all the paperwork that she needed so she can compile our book. The next step is for her to start sending them to birth moms on the situations that we want to present to.
Other than that I have been doing a lot of research about the different state laws for adoption and what all is involved in the adoption process. I have to say that the book I got the Idiots Guide to Adoption has been wonderful. I have learned a whole lot!
We have also been finishing our paperwork for our home study. We only have three more forms to get to her and we have everything done that we can do. Then we just have to wait on our FBI prints that normally take 10-13 weeks. Luckily I have a few things in the works to try and speed that up so we will see what happens!! Keep your fingers crossed. The sooner we get those prints back the sooner we can be parents :)I am getting more excited by the day and so is Stephen. I have been busy looking at bedding and other things for the baby. It is so awesome to think that we could be parents in the next couple of months!
I think that is all the news I have right now so until next time Love and baby dust!!!

Our Homestudy

2010-04-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we had our four hour home study. When she said that it would last four hour before hand Stephen and I both thought there was no way possible that it would last for four hours. Well I can now say that we were totally wrong! It lasted a little over four house. I had been talking to her on the phone so I knew that she was really nice so I was not that worried. Honestly I was just ready to get it over with. She got there right at 10 am. After introducing ourselves we sat down out of kitchen table. She asked us questions as a couple such as
* Why do you want to adopt?
*When did you starting thinking about adoption?
*Which one of us brought up adoption?
Those were all easy for Stephen and I to answer because we have always talked about adopting even if we could have our own kids. We have always truly known that we wanted to adopt. After finishing the questions together she asked us questions about each of us. She asked us questions such as
* Where did you grow up?
*What was your childhood like?
*How does your family feel about the adoption?
After that we talked about discipline and how we will tell our children about their adoption. We also talked about a timeline. She said that our home study will be done most likely at the end of June. She will be done with her part and we still have a few More things to do. But we will mainly be waiting on our FBI prints to come back which can take 8 to 12 weeks. She also said the baby that we adopt is most likely already in the birth moms tummy. That is so exciting! She also said that we can go ahead and start looking at babies that are due at the end of June early July. That is so amazing that we could be parents by summer! We also talked about sex and race preference. Which was an easy conversation because we are open to either sex and any race. Just a note- it is important to let them know what because it has to say on your home study what sex and races you are willing to adopt.
Next she went over all of our paperwork that we had filled out. That part was easy because I put it a three ring binder with tab dividers that I put all our paperwork in.
Last but not least she went on a tour of our house. She made sure that we had a fire extinguisher, that all the smoke alarms were working, and then she looked at all of the rooms in our house. We had to show her what room was going to be the baby's room and what our plans were for that. We already have a crib so that is the only things that was in the room other than a few stuffed animals and a hat that My mom and I had bought :) I think that is pretty much all that happened.
Stephen and I are both super excited and talk about it all the time!!!
I also went to the book store yesterday and looked at a lot of adoption books. I ended up getting The Idiot's Guide to Adoption because to me it had the most helpful info in it :)
Well that is all I have for today. Until next time love and baby dust!

My Beautiful Sunflowers

2010-04-12T08:17:00.000-07:00

After our homestudy my husband brought me home these beautiful sunflowers :) I am so lucky to be married to such a thoughtful and sweet man!

Our Big Home Study Tomorrow

2010-04-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow at 10 a.m is our four hour home study interview. This week has been a crazy week getting ready for our home study. All I can say is Thank God it was spring break or I never could have gotten it all done. I had to get a lot of paperwork filled out which everywhere I went they looked at me like I was crazy and had no clue what I wanted. At this point almost all the paperwork is done but we are still waiting on a few things. We finally got everything around the house done with a lot of help from my Mom. Stacy also came and helped today which was so sweet of her. Thanks Stacy!!! As much as I did not enjoying doing all that we did around the house...it was all worth it because I am so happy with how everything turned out.
We have also decided to work with a local adoption consultant (who I will call C in my posts) instead of going with a large agency. Working with C. will allow us to see what a lot of adoption agencies have instead of just one. We are going out to dinner with her on Tuesday to talk about everything. I am super excited :) Well that is all for tonight. I have to get up early to make sure everything is perfect :) I will update as soon as it is over :) Until then Love and Baby Dust!!!

The Big Meeting with Dr. D

2010-04-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday we had our big appointment with Dr. D. Stephen ended up not being able to get off so my Mom went with me so I had an extra set of ears. Dr. D said that after the doctors reviewed the data they decided that we should defiantly try IVF again. He felt like everything went really well over all and with a few changes he thinks it will be successful.
First we went over all the data. He let me know that next cycle we will start out with 3 bottles of bravelle and 1 bottle of menopur. He said since my body did way better when they upped the dose towards the end of my stim cycle and responded a lot better that is the way to go. He also said that out of the 22 eggs 13 were good, 6 were defective (can't remember the right word), and the 3 were immature. Next cycle he is going to add in one extra medicine just to try and get more healthy eggs. That means that hopefully there will not be 6 defective eggs. The next thing we talked about was Stephen. He is worried about his count dropping so we are going to start freezing sperm right away. Stephen stopped taking medicine 2 weeks ago that they think may cause his sperm count to drop. So hopefully that is what is doing it. We will find out in the next 2 months if going off the meds made a difference. He also said that his count on the day of my retrieval could have just been a fluke. (We would love for that to be the case).
Last I talked to Dr. D. about our plan just to see how he felt about it. We let him know that we are going to go ahead and adopt and go back to IVF next summer. He thought that was a great idea :) So that is what we are doing. I thought I would be sad talking about my failed IVF while we were there. But honestly I am so excited about adopting that it was much easier than I thought. So until next time Love and Baby Dust!!!

Busy, Busy, Busy

2010-04-05T18:29:00.001-07:00

Well I have to say that I thought IVF was keeping me busy but starting the adoption process has been much more busy. Since we signed up to have our home study done, I have been busy working on the mounds of paper work that have to be completed. Today alone I went to the social security office (LOL to finally change my social to my married name), DFACS (to get a paper signed saying we are clear of child abuse, which after standing in line for an hour they had no clue how to help me), the 911 call center ( to get a paper signed saying that we don't call 911 all the time, which also did not go so well. They kept the paper and said they would call me when they were done.) and to the doctor to get a TB which is just one part of the long medical form. The DFACS office was a really hard place to be. There were a lot of people with a lot of kids that were so hateful to their kids. They just don't know how lucky they are to be able to have kids. The whole hour that I was standing I just kept thinking why can all these people have kids and we can't. I try not to think that like to often but it was hard not to in that situation. But then I go back to thinking about how excited we are about adopting.
We have also been really busy getting our house for our home study visit this coming Saturday. I am so excited to get it over with because we will be one step closer to getting our baby :)
We have also decide to go with a adoption consultant instead of an agency. We are suppose to meet her a day this week to starting talking about our options :) Can't wait! I will update soon! Until next time Love and Baby Dust!!!

Let Our Adoption Journey Begin!

2010-03-30T17:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long since I posted.....but wow my life has been really busy!! Since our failed IVF cycle we have had such unbelievable support from our family and friends. Stephen and I have been so touched by every ones love, prayer, and kind words.

Stephen and I have also been weighing all of our options for where to go with our journey next. We have had three amazing people offer to surrogate for us and we still have 1 IVF cycle left (maybe 2 if we have frozen eggs after this next cycle).We are still going to meet with Dr.D next Wednesday about what went wrong with our last IVF cycle. Even though we have decided to keep all those options in mind for the future we have decided to go ahead and start the adoption process. We have always wanted to adopt even if we could have our own children...so needless to say we are pumped! We are so excited for this journey to begin. This week I called a private home study agency to get the ball rolling. I was so excited because the lady I talked to was really sweet and gave me a lot of hope. Her and her husband are adoptive parents so she knows a lot about this process. For those of you that don't know, home studies are a very long and involved process that take 2-3 months to complete sometimes even more. But a home study has to be in place before you are able to adopt. Stephen and I started working on the large stack of paperwork yesterday. We have made a dent in it but we still have a lot more to go through. The lady from the home study agency will be here on April 10th for our house walk through and interview. She said that our meeting on April 10th will take about four hours. Thank God next week is spring break so I have plenty of time to get everything perfect :) We are also so fortunate to have a good friend of mine that is an adoption lawyer. I also spoke to her today to let her know that we had started the process. I will go more in to detail on my next post :) I have to go make cupcakes for school :)

Our First Embryos

2010-03-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

Even though they didn't make it, our first embryos deserve to be seen on my blog. These are our 2 little embryos that were used during our first round of IVF. Sadly they only lived a few days. But believe it or not I loved these little bubbles and wished they would have made it.

Big Fat Negative

2010-03-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

Well I just got the phone call from Dr. D that our first round of IVF was unsuccessful. Which was no surprise because I already knew that in my heart. I have bled,cramped, and been in so much pain over the past three days that I knew that it was not going to be good news. Honestly today I am just over it. I was really upset on Monday when I started the bleeding and cramping because I knew then it was not going to happen. Today I am just looking towards the future. Am I sad...of course. Am I disappointed....of course. Stephen and I are taking it one day at a time. We are getting through it together with the support of our wonderful friends and families.

So what is next for us? We have decided to do a couple of things.

1) Next week all the doctors will get together at the office and look at our information. They will look at all the data they have collected throughout this cycle. I have had a lot of problems with meds..etc so they will come up with solutions for that and come up with a plan for next time. We will go back and meet with Dr. D in two weeks.We are going to start our next IVF cycle at the end of this school year which is at the end of may. In the mean time we are going to start freezing Stephen's sperm and let my body go back to normal from all of this.

2) We are going to seriously start looking into adoption. We are going to start looking at different agencies and start getting our house ready for the home study.

I think that is pretty much all for now. Thanks again to all of you who read my blog for all the love and support! Until next time Love and Baby Dust!

No Change

2010-03-24T19:14:00.000-07:00

Well today was another not so great day. I continued to bleed and cramp even worse today. I am ready to go to the doctor tomorrow to get this all over with. I am ready to get back to work and get my normal life back. I don't really have much more to say today. I promise I will update more tomorrow with what the blood tests say and what our next step is. Until then Love and Baby Dust!

More Shots, Cramping and Bleeding

2010-03-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

Well today was another not so good day on this long journey know as IVF. Last night I continued to bleed and cramp all through the night. Today my cramping and bleeding continued to get worse. I called the doctor this afternoon and they told me to go ahead and come in. All of this bleeding and cramping just threw me right back to the time that I had my miscarriage. Once I got there he checked me with an exam and an ultrasound. During the exam he saw that almost all of my progesterone cream was gone. He keep asking me if I have been using my progesterone everyday which I have. (AGAIN this next part is TMI, so stop reading here if you want) But since I have been bleeding it has all been falling out....I know gross. During my ultrasound he said my lining was still thick which is good but that really means nothing. Overall, he said that things don't look really good but there could still be a small chance that I am pregnant. Before I left they gave me a progesterone oil shot in my muscle which was lovely and then he gave me a prescription for more progesterone oil. So that means I am back to getting shots everyday. He told me to just take it easy and we will see what my blood work says on Thursday. So I don't know much more this afternoon than I knew this morning. As hard as this all is, Stephen and I are just taking it one day at a time and getting through it together. It has made our marriage stronger than it already was. Thank you all so much for all the support and prayers! We love you all every much! So until next time Love and Baby Dust!

Way Past Implantation

2010-03-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, so today has not been a great day. I woke up this morning with the same horrible headache I had last night. After I got to school I had to do my progesterone suppository at 9:30 as I do everyday. (Just to let you know the next bit of info may be TMI for some people, if so just don't read this post) When I did my progesterone suppository it came out with a tiny bit of blood on it. Shortly after that I had bad cramps, like AF cramps that are making my back hurt. I have only had a little bit more bleeding not much here and there through out the day. Of course I have been on the Internet to see if this is normal. Most people just have cramping during implantation which I had light cramps Wed-Fri which is when I should have implanted. I didn't have cramps all weekend and then they just started today. I also read a lot of post where people had light bleeding and cramping and were still pregnant but I also read the same thing where people were not pregnant. I am just so scared it didn't work and this is the beginning of my period. I just wish Thursday would come because I am ready to know something. This 2 week wait is killing me. I know, I know relax! That is so much easier said that done. Until next time Love and Baby Dust!

After I wrote this I went home and called the doctor. They said it was too early for my period but I just need to relax and take it easy. She said she hears a lot of people talking about cramping and the bleeding could be from the progesterone. It is still scary because it feel just like how I started my miscarriage last time. So I layed around this afternoon and I had to take yet another day off tomorrow. I was really enjoying being back at school but we have put a lot of time, money, and love in to this process, so I have to put it first.Please keep me in your prayers and pray that the cramping and spotting go away.

Couldn't Wait

2010-03-21T15:30:00.000-07:00

So this afternoon Stephen and I got the bright idea that we were going to do a pregnancy test even though we are only 6 days post transfer. Yes we are idiots and Yes it is to early but wanting to know got the best of us. So needless to say the results were negative. Even though it is still so early it sucked to see those two horrible words not pregnant. So as I always do I turned to the Internet for comfort reading what other people had to say that did the same stupid thing :) This is what I found and thought it was really interesting so I decided I would post it. The days I am putting next to it are the days that it would be for us. If you are going through this fill your own days in.

This is for a day 5 Transfer, it is different for a day 3

(If we are pregnant this is what would be happening day by day)

The day before the transfer (Sun 3/14)- Embryo is growing and developing

Day of Transfer (Monday 3/15)- Embryo is now a blastocyst

1 Day Post Transfer (Tuesday 3/16) Blastocyst hatches out of shell

2 Days Post Transfer (Wednesday 3/17) Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining

3 Days Post Transfer (Thursday 3/18) Implantation begins, as the blastocyst beings to bury in the lining.

4 Days Post Transfer (Friday 3/19) Implantation Process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining.

5 Days Post Transfer (Saturday 3/20) Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells and fetal cells

6 Days Post Transfer (Sunday 3/21) Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood.

7 Days Post Transfer (Monday 3/22)More HCG is produced as the fetus develops

8 Days Post Transfer (Tuesday 3/23) More HCG is produced as the fetus develops

9 Days Post Transfer (Wednesday 3/24) HCG levels are now high enough to be detected on a Home Pregnancy Test.

So the moral of the story is no more pregnancy tests wasted until Wednesday! Until next time love and baby dust!

The Long Wait!

2010-03-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

Well we are 4 days into the long wait...only 6 more days to go until we find out if it worked for us. The big day when I go in for my blood work is March 25th, first thing in the morning. But I will have to wait until later in the afternoon to find out. I know I can take a regular pregnancy test earlier than the 25th but I haven't decided if I am going to do that yet. I am so tired of them saying not pregnant that I just do not want to see those two horrible words again. As for how I am feeling, my stomach is finally feeling a little better. I am still eating a bland diet but I didn't take any Maalox today. I have had a few cramps (which is common with implantation) here and there but I don't not want to get my hopes up so I am trying to shrug them off. I am trying my best to be positive but it still feels like such a long shot that it will work. We have just been let down so many times it just feels so far away. I feel so lucky to have such a supportive husband who wants this to work just as much as I do. We have both had our weak moments through this process but that has only made our marriage stronger.
So for the next 6 days I will sit and wonder if we are pregnant or not. So until next time Love and Baby Dust!

Sadly No Snowbabies

2010-03-16T16:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon and today I have just been relaxing and hoping for sticky embryos :) Today the blastocyst should be breaking out of their shell and should start attaching tomorrow. I am praying that they do because the doctor called today to let us know that they were not able to freeze any of the embryos. For those of you that don't know frozen embryos are called snowbabies (in infertility talk). I am sad about that but I am just grateful that we had two eggs to transfer because that was the ultimate goal. Other than that I am still feeling pretty bad. My stomach still feels like it is on fire so my Mom is pretty sure I have gastritis from all the medicines I have been on. I have been on a bland diet for two days and taking Maalox on a schedule. Neither of those things are making much difference but I am hoping I will start feeling better soon! I am happy that I am finally returning to work tomorrow after a week off.

9 more days of waiting!
I will write again soon! Until then Love and Baby Dust!

Pictures from the Transfer

2010-03-15T17:46:00.000-07:00

Pouring my baby dust in my hand.
Throwing my baby dust on my head

My empty bag of baby dust.

Drinking my 64 ounces of water.

My hope necklace my Mom got me.

My sweet husband and me in our hot outfits.

Us Again :)

My wonderful husband all ready for the transfer.

Trying to pass the time!

Love Him!

Transfer Day!

2010-03-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

So today was the big day :) I got up bright and early to go to school to decorate for Lynn's birthday....which I would not have missed for the world :) After I left school I came home to get my husband up and gather everything I needed to go for our transfer. Before the transfer I had to drink 64 ounces of water and take 4 Advil. I was also supposed to take a Valium but my heartburn was so bad I skipped it. Since the beginning of this process I have had a little bag of baby dust that I have brought to every appointment. Once we arrived at the office today before going in I threw the baby dust all over me. Once we got to the office I continued to drink my water and waiting to get my blood work done. They were checking my estrogen and progesterone. The longer I sat in the waiting room the more uncomfortable I got. Not only did I have to go to the bathroom really bad but my ovaries are still sore which really hurt more because my bladder was full. After they finally took my blood work I went across the hall to where they were going to go the transfer. Stephen and I had to change into our operating room clothes. My transfer was supposed to be 10:15 but there someone in front of me. They ended up finally taking us back there a little after 11. I was hurting so bad I could hardly walk back there. Once we got back to the operating room the embryologist came in to show us the two embryos they were going to transfer again. We could tell clearly from the picture that one of the two was much bigger than the other. She explained the bigger one was a great looking blastocyst and the smaller one was still a little behind but developing. She also let us know sadly that three of the other embryos had stopped growing and that we had one left that they may be able to freeze. As much as I wanted to have some to freeze I just felt grateful that we had two healthy embryos for transfer today because that was our ultimate goal. After seeing the pictures of our hopefully future babies the doctor did the transfer. I had heard it didn't hurt at all but I was in a lot of pain because I had to use the bathroom so bad. After it was finally over I had to lie there for 5 minutes. When the nurse came back in and said I could go to the restroom, I thought I was going to cry I was so happy. After getting dressed we got to go home. So for now I am on bed rest praying for sticky eggs. I am also praying to feel better because the Medrol really did a number on my stomach so I am still having awful heartburn and my stomach feels like it is on fire. My Mom put me on a bland diet so hopefully that will help. That is all for now, the long wait begins. I will scan the picture of our embryos tomorrow. So until then Love and Baby Dust!

Pushed to Day 5

2010-03-13T06:59:00.000-08:00

Bright and early this morning my phone rang. It was from a number I know very well...the doctors office. They called to let me know that they were pushing my transfer from a day 3 to a day 5. That was really great news to us. They do day 5 transfers for a few reasons but the main one is that all the embryos look good and they can't tell which two are the best. At day 5 they are blastocysts . A blastocyst is a highly developed embryo that has divided many times and is at the point where it is nearly ready to attach to the uterus wall. There are good and bad things about waiting till day 5. The good things are that the embryo is much more developed and you have a better chance for success. The only bad thing is that they do not freeze well. I am fine with that and am more than happy to do a day 5 transfer. Many of the blogs I have been reading, pray for a day 5 transfer. The other good thing is that I will only have to wait 10 days instead of 15 to know if it worked. Oh, and I only have to go to the doctor's office on the 25th and not the 18th and the 25th.

So what all this means is that out transfer will be on Monday at 11:15, which means I have to be there at 10:45. I was really sad at first because I thought I was going to miss Lynn's 30th birthday at school. But my transfer is so late I am going to get to go in for a little bit for her birthday and to see my babies:) That is all for today so until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!

My Beautiful Tulips

2010-03-13T06:53:00.000-08:00

My Beautiful tulips my husband got me after my egg retrieval.

Allergic Reactions

2010-03-12T13:22:00.000-08:00

I was so excited to think that I had a two day break from going to the doctor. But my two day break was short lived when I had to go to the doctor bright and early this morning because of an allergic reaction. Yesterday I started taking Estrace which is a estrogen pill. About an hour after I took the pill I felt like my whole body was on fire. My face was red and inflamed. My Mom kept telling me it was probably the hormones from all the shots leaving my body but it continued to get worse as the day went on. I called the emergency number because I was supposed to take another pill with dinner but I was scared to because of my reaction with the first pill. The Doctor called me back and told me to go into the office the next day so they could change my medicine. Once I got to the doctor I showed them pictures from what my face looked like the night before. They were surprised because people normally don't have that reaction. They ended up putting me on an estrogen patch. Which I am happy about because instead of taking 2 pills a day. I just have to put the patch on every Tuesday and Friday.
I am worried about the 6 embryos because many times all 6 will not make it to transfer and I really want to have some to freeze. But I keep telling myself if we have two healthy eggs for the transfer tomorrow then we are lucky. I was reading so many blogs where after people had their retrieval, none of the eggs fertilized. I know now that I am so lucky to have 6. The nurses at the office told me that 6 is a great number. I have always hated the number six but my Mom said after tomorrow I may start to love the number 6 :)I keep telling myself that it only takes 1. Just one little healthy embryo could be Stephen and my dream come true.

During my massage toady the doctor's office called to say that they had to change the time of my transfer from 10:15 to 11:00. I will feel much better after I know how many embryos made it I will be able to breath a sigh of relief!

I think that is all for now. So until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!!!

Fertilization Report Not Great- Down to 6

2010-03-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

After a very long night of waiting for the fertilization report, the Dr. called at 9:25 this morning. As you know yesterday day we started with 22 eggs. Then this morning when the doctor called he said that out of the 22 only 13 were mature and only 6 fertilized. So is it as high as we hoped no. But I have to look on the positive side that we have 6 little embryos that could hopefully be our children. Right now we are still set for a day 3 transfer which is suppose to take place Saturday at 10:15. So for right how I am hoping and praying that all 6 of our little embryos make it. If so we will use 2 on Saturday and hopefully be able to freeze the other 4.
The doctor also said he is really worried about Stephen's count. But he did say he did research on a medicine takes that can dramatically reduce sperm count. So I made Stephen an appointment with his doctor so he can tell him the safe way to go off of it.
Other than that I had to start three new medications today. Estrace which is estrogen and I have to take that in the morning and at night. Baby Aspirin once a day to keep the lining of my uterus thick. Crinone which is a progesterone suppository (better than the shot!)
That is pretty much all for now Love and Baby Dust!

22 Beautiful Little Eggs

2010-03-10T13:13:00.000-08:00

Today was the biggest and most important day so far in my journey of IVF. Today was my egg retrieval day. I got up this morning to a very rainy and nasty day. Lynn texted me and said that since rain is lucky on wedding days then it must be lucky on egg retrieval day :) We got there right at 7:15. While sitting in the waiting room my Mom, Stephen, and I were guessing how many eggs I would have. Stephen guessed 30, my Mom guessed 24, and I guessed 22. After waiting in the waiting room they took me right back. My Mom had to wait in the waiting room and Stephen got to back with me. Once I got back there they had me put on my lovely hospital gown, booties, and cap. Next, the nurse put my IV in. Then the anesthesiologist came in to introduced himself, I liked him a lot he was a really nice guy. There is a picture of us below. Next Dr.F came in to see if I had any questions, which I didn't since I had read so much online. Shortly after that the nurse came to take me back to the operating room. I was teary eyed just because I hate being put to sleep but all the nurses were so sweet. They made me feel completely comfortable. After that I went right to sleep. The whole retrieval took a totally of 10-15 mins. The next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room. I was crampy but they gave me a heated bottle that made me feel a lot better. I also had a really bad taste in my mouth, which didn't go away till way later. Dr. F came in to let me know that she was able to get 22 eggs. Dr. F and I were both really happy with that number :) Once I started feeling like myself again they let me go home. Once I got home I was still a little crampy, so I layed in bed happily surrounded by my dogs with a heating pad.

About an hour after we got home my phone rang. It was one of the nurses that works in the lab. I thought she was just calling with an update but she was calling to let me know that Stephen had to come back in because his sperm count was really low. This was scary and shocking news. Stephen left right away to go back to the doctors office. While we know that his count is not normally that great it was never a concern that there would not be enough. Once Stephen got home and we talked about it the only thing we could think of is that they have had him on a steroid inhaler because he has been so sick. The horrible part is that I called back around 3:30 today to see how the second sample was and they told me that the doctor was already gone and we had to wait until tomorrow. So here we sit worrying about if they were able to fertilize the eggs or not. We figured that if the news was bad they would have called us or that is what I am going to keep telling myself. It is going to be a very long night! But thankfully I am feeling pretty good, I am a tiny bit sore but that is all. So until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust.

At home after my surgery with my sweet nurses.

Pre-op Today and Tomorrow's the Big Day!

2010-03-09T17:17:00.000-08:00

I got up bright and early again this morning to make the trek to the doctors office for my pre-op appointment and of course more blood work :) The pre-op went well I signed all my paper and got all the instructions that I needed for the night before my egg retrieval, the day of my egg retrieval , my transfer, and the rest of my appointments.
Of course I am nervous about tomorrow but I am so ready to get this crazy process over with. Tomorrow morning I have to be there at 7:15 and my surgery will start at 8. I was very happy to find out that Dr.F the nice lady doctor I saw this weekend is doing the egg retrieval. I also got a phone call from the anesthesiologist who is putting me to sleep. He was very nice which also calmed my nerves.
I also just wanted to say thank you to everyone for all their thoughts, prayers, love and kind words. It means the world to me and it is truly helping me get through this challenging journey.
I also wanted to share what my wonderful husband posted on facebook tonight because it is so sweet and shows what a great man he truly is.
" Tomorrow is the big day. There's not much I've wanted in my life more than this to work. I'm not a religious man, but I am praying".
I think that is all for tonight, until tomorrow Love and baby dust!!!

Trigger Shot Equalled Stress

2010-03-08T18:24:00.000-08:00

Wow, that 20 minutes was the most stressful 20 minutes I have had through this whole process. So during my shot the teach the nurse stressed how important the trigger shot is and how important it is not to mess it up.

Since I had to have my shot at 9:00 I went downstairs at 8:45 to get everything ready. The HCG consists of two vials. One that is liquid and one that is powder. I started off well putting the right amount of liquid into the powder. But then no matter what I tried I could not get all the liquid out of the vial. Then I had air in my needle so when I tried to get it out a little shot in the air. So there I stood teary eyed because it was not all just right, like I knew it needed to be. At 9:05 I finally gave myself my shot with all the liquid that I could possible get in there. All I can do now is hope that I did it right :( I will find out tomorrow because they do blood work to make sure it in my system. So again until next time love and baby dust!

Day 11 Stim Appointment/My Eggs are Ready :)

2010-03-08T16:00:00.000-08:00

I went to the doctor again this morning and of course had another ultrasound and blood work done. Today I saw Dr. T who I have seen a few times before when I was going through my IUIs. Yesterday when they did the ultrasound I had about 15 mature follicles/eggs but still had about 10 that had a little further to go. Today at the ultrasound all but one of my follicles/eggs were mature :) That was great news to me! That means I am officially done with my Lupron, Bravelle and Menopur shots. But tonight I have one last shot which is the most important shot of them all, my trigger shot. The trigger shot is an HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) shot which makes the follicles go into their last stage of maturation. The trigger shot is given exactly 36 hours before the egg retrieval surgery. Today they let me know that my egg retrieval is officially Wednesday March 10th which means I have to do my trigger shot at 9pm tonight. I also found of that the girl Doctor I like Dr. F is the one that is suppose to do the surgery. I still have to go to the doctor tomorrow to make sure that the trigger shot is working and get to all my pre-op instructions. I will update a little later tonight about how my trigger shot went. So Until then love and baby dust!

15 Mature Today but....../Day 10 Stim Appointment

2010-03-07T08:59:00.000-08:00

Stephen and I got up bright and early again to go to the doctor. Today was our stimulation day 10 appointment which means of course another ultrasound and more blood work. My poor arms are all bruised but hopefully it will all be worth it. Dr. F did my ultrasound again today. She was happy to see that more follicles/eggs had matured over night but she was not happy with what my E2 levels were yesterday which was 990. I found out through reading that for every mature egg your E2 will be 100. Which means yesterday I only had almost 10 mature eggs. During my ultrasound today I could tell the follicles had gotten bigger from my ovaries being very tender and from the measurements she was calling out. The sizes were all over the place ranging from 10mm to 20mm. Really you want them to be closer together in size but that is just not happening with me. Also my lining was at 11mm which she said looked perfect. At the end of my appointment Dr.F said things were looking good but she might make me do one more day of stim medicines depending on what my E2 levels were like.
When the nurse called this afternoon she said that my E2 levels have gone up from 990 to 1550. Which means I have 15 mature eggs. She said that was great but Dr.F wants me to do the higher dose of stimulation meds again tonight. That means I will do 3 vials of Bravelle, 1 vial of menapur, and 5cc of Lupron (Thank God the office had a emergency supply because I only had one vial of Bravelle left).So that means the schedule should be the following;
Sunday-3/7- One more night of Stimulation meds and Lupron.
Monday-3/8- Back to the doctor bright and early for another ultrasound and blood work. Hopefully my trigger shot will be this night.
Tuesday- 3/9- Not sure if I will have to go to the Dr. again, I am assuming I will but I will have a break from all the meds.
Wednesday-3/10- Egg Retrieval Day
Saturday 3/13 or Monday 3/15- They will put the fertilized eggs back in one of these 2 days. Praying for Saturday because I would hate to miss Lynn's birthday on Monday!!

That is all my news for now so until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!

Pictures from Day 9 Stim Appointment

2010-03-06T13:11:00.001-08:00

Stephen and I waiting on the doctor
Me in my Lovely Paper Sheet waiting on my ultrasound

10 Mature Hopefully More to Come/ Day 9 Stim Appointment

2010-03-06T12:30:00.000-08:00

Even though it is Saturday I still had to be at the doctor bright and early this morning. Since it was the weekend I had to go to the main location which I have never been to and I had to see a new doctor. It was a fun appointment because Stephen went and he was making me laugh as usual. Today I saw Dr.F, she was a young happy pregnant woman who was very sweet. During my ultrasound she found a total of about 25 Follicles/eggs. But as of today only 10 of them are mature. To be mature they have be at least 15mm because if they are not 15 mm they do not have eggs in them yet. Dr.F said that with one more day of stim shots then a lot more should be mature by tomorrow.Which means that I would get my trigger shot tomorrow night and egg retrival Tuesday as planned. When the nurse called this afternoon with my blood work results she said that my E2 level was in the high 900s(I was taking a nap, so I can't remember the exact number) and that Dr.F want me to add one more vial of Bravelle to my shots tonight. I am sure that they want me to add because the ones that are mature can't go much longer and they really want me to have more mature than that before retrial. So overall the appointment went well. I have another appointment tomorrow in the morning. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a lot more mature follicles/eggs. Until then Love and Baby Dust!

The Three Amigos/ Day 8 Stim Appointment

2010-03-05T09:10:00.000-08:00

Today was my appointment for stim day 8.It was another great appointment. My Mom went with me and was so excited to see all of my eggs getting bigger by the day. During my ultrasound the doctor said that she could see at least 8 eggs/follicles on each side. She found one follicle that was 18mm, one that was 16mm, a few that were 15mm, and many that were 12mm. She said that after a few more days the 12mm ones should catch up with the others. She also said that the lining of my uterus looked great and was ahead of the game at 11mm. She gave me a few great pictures for my blog which I was super excited about.

Picture 1- My right ovary- All of the dark spots are my follicles which contain the eggs. This is just from one side so you can only see 4 or 5 follicles. The one on the left is my largest one that is 18 mm.

Picture 2- My Left Ovary- This is the picture that she called my three amigos because you can see 3 eggs all in a line. Again this is only from one angle so you can only see 4 follicles.One person at school said it looked like a paw print :)

Picture 3- Is my uterus which the doctor said looks perfect for a baby :)

So that is my good news for the day. I have to say I am feeling positive today. I started stocking up on pregnancy tests at target today and I allowed myself to look at baby clothes which I never do.

Still waiting on my lab work to come back, so as soon as it does I will update this post!

Got my lab work back and my E2 level looks great at 779 :) I go back bright and early tomorrow morning.

That's all for now! Love and Baby Dust!!!

Little Army of Eggs/ Day 6 Stim Appointment

2010-03-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

Bright and early this morning was my day 6 of stimulation appointment. It started with blood work as always and then I had my ultrasound. Overall, my appointment went great. The doctor said I have a little army of eggs(follicles) on both sides that range from 10-12mm. Just to put that number into perspective they like to remove them at 17-21mm, preferably 21mm. The follicles will continue to grow 1-3mm a day. She said if she had to guess my retrieval would be on Tuesday of next week. The nurse also called this afternoon with the results from my estradiol level which was 247. The nurse said that is fine and to keep taking the same meds that I am currently on. So I guess everything is looking how it should. I go back to the doctor Friday morning to have another ultrasound and blood work. I will update again then :) So for now Love and Baby Dust!

Wishing On a Star

2010-03-02T06:18:00.000-08:00

I am feeling much better this week. Since starting the stim shots my mood has been much better. I am feeling more and more back to my normal everyday. I can also tell that the stim shots are beginning to work because my ovaries are tender. Which is a very familar feeling because of taking clomid during my IUIs. I have read everywhere that Lupron is the devil and I have to say that I agree! I was very fortunate not to have to many headaches and hot flashes. But it did make me quite hateful. Even though I am still on a small dose of Lupron it is not having much effect on me anymore.
I went to therapy yesterday, which for those of you who don't know I go for my anxiety. I was talking to her about what I have talked about on here before that going through this has made me face all of my fears. Honestly, I hate that I have to go through all this but I think that it is good that I am facing my fears. The more I talked about it with her the more I know that I can get through this. I started talking about the many different things that are going on in my life and how things are really lining up. She said that it seems like the stars are going to align this time. So here I am truly hoping that the stars are aligning.
Throughout this process I have tried to be positive but I hate to get my hopes up again.Since I got pregnant on my own, I truly thought that the IUIs would work. But as we all know they didn't. I keep telling myself that with the IUIs I only had a 12% chance of it working the first time and then your chances go down from there. With IVF we have 75% chance of it working. I truly hope I am one of those 75%. I can't imagine being part of the 25%. Even though I have prepared myself to be one of those 25% people. I am grateful that we have the means to do IVF. I am grateful that we have the means to adopt if it comes down to that. So right now I am staying positive. I know that no matter what I will be a mommy!
Oh one other thing I am trying my hardest to kick caffeine. This is way harder than shots or anything else. I truly love my Diet Coke and sweet tea. I look forward to them through out my day. I have been drinking Coke forever so when I don't have it I get a horrible headache. I am cutting down from 4 a day to 1. So wish me luck :)

Here are a Few Shot Pictures

2010-02-27T20:22:00.000-08:00

Giving myself the stim shot...feel the burn!

Oh yay Shot...LOL

Mixing Stim Shot

Me and My Wonderful Husband and hopefully future baby daddy!

Mixing the stim shot

Giving myself the Lupron Shot

Getting the air out

Drawing up my Lupron

Getting my Lupron Ready

My Shots for just one day.

Burn Baby Burn, Gotta Love Those Stim Shots

2010-02-27T19:55:00.000-08:00

So last night was the first night of my stim shots. I also reduced the lupron shot from 10cc to 5cc. I was more nervous about mixing all the medicines than I was about the actual shot. Thank God for Youtube because there was a girl that showed me how to do it :)To get the stim shots ready there are a total of 4 vials. 1 vial of sodium chloride, 2 vials of a powder drug called Bravelle and 1 vial of another powder drug called menopur. To mix these you start by taking a big needle off a syringe, there are things called q-caps which fit on the top of the vials. The syringe screws on the top of the q-cap. Next you place the q-cap on the bottle of sodium chloride, draw up 1cc of liquid. Then you put the q-cap on the next vial and squirt in the liquid. You continue to do that through each vial until they are all mixed together. Then you remove the syringe from the q-cap and screw on a small needle on to the syringe. Now it is finally time to give yourself the shot. This shot is a lot different than giving myself the lupron shot. The lupron shot is a really small amount and the liquid comes out quickly. The stim shot is another story, it is a lot more liquid and it comes out very slowly. Plus it burns while going in. Overall, I have to say it has been so far so good. I haven't had any side effects yet but it is also only day two.

Hooray for Sleeping Eggs!

2010-02-26T09:44:00.000-08:00

This morning was my first ultrasound and blood work appointment since starting the Lupron injections. Lupron's job is to put my follicles which contain the eggs in resting mode. During my ultrasound today the doctor said the Lupron did its job. She explained that the lining of my uterus looked thin as it should and my follicles were completely resting. This afternoon the nurse called about my blood work, she said that all of my blood work was perfect. The nurse also gave me the go ahead to start my stimulation shots tonight. I am so ready to start them because they are suppose to make my hormones go back to normal :) But I will say that I am scared at the same time because I have to mix 4 different vials of medicines together into one shot. They showed me how to do it and I have written directions but it is still a lot to remember. I will also stay on the Lupron but it will drop down to 5cc instead of 10cc a day. So that means tonight I will have 2 shots instead of one. I will update later tonight or tomorrow about how it goes :)

Not So Little Miss Sunshine

2010-02-25T16:35:00.000-08:00

Wow, so how I have been feeling is so foreign to me. I am normally happy and in a good mood. I love little Miss Sunshine and have always thought I was a lot like her character. Happy, smiling, and with pig tails. But something about these medicines have made me completely cranky. Like I said in my previous post I have a rather short fuse. I normally never cry or get mad to often. But over the past week I have cried during tv shows and gotten mad at the stupidest things. In my favorite blog the girl who wrote it made a list of all of the stupid things she got mad about while on these shots. I can totally relate. I am sure my list would be really long.

I go to the infertility doctor at 8am to have a baseline ultrasound and blood work done to make sure that the lupron is doing what it is suppose to be doing. The good news is if all goes well I am supposed to start my stimulation shots which from what I have read will balance back out my hormones. For every ones sake who has had to deal with me, I hope this is true :)

Human Pin Cushion

2010-02-22T18:43:00.000-08:00

It has been a few days since I updated so I decided to write a quick update. Well today is day 7 of my Lupron shots. Everyone has asked how things are going and my only response is I feel like a human pin cushion. I know that feeling will continue to get worse since I go to two shots on Friday. But overall, I can honestly say that I have been feeling pretty good. I haven't had many side effects in the past few days. Since Saturday I haven't had anymore headaches or hot flashes. The only side effect that I have really noticed is that I have a short fuse. I was in Petsmart and every aisle I went down there was someone standing there talking and not moving when I wanted to get by. Even when they saw me standing there. I thought I was going to yell at someone before I left. (I did hit someone with my cart.....oops) LOL! Which is not really like me because I am normally pretty laid back.

That is all for now. I go to the doctor on Friday to see if the Lupron is doing what it is suppose to do. Feeling Postive and throwing Baby Dust all over myself :)

Headaches and Hot Flashes

2010-02-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

So today was day 5 of the Lupron shots. I woke up this morning with a horrible headache that decided to stick around all day no matter what medicine I took. I decided not to let it ruin my day so Stephen and I went to lunch and went shopping. While shopping I began to have a few hot flashes here and there but nothing to bad. After we got back home I had enough of my headache so I decided to take a nap to see if that would help. After sleeping for 2 hours I woke up headache free. I am hoping I don't have to many more headaches because they are just no fun.

The great news is that today is my last day of taking the birth control pill!! Woo Hoo! I am happy about that for a few reasons. One is because it is one less medicine that I have to worry about taking and two hopefully my dry mouth will go away.

I guess that is really all that is going on for now. I have a doctors appointment this coming Friday to see if the lupron shots are working. If they are I will begin the other set of shots that will stimulate my eggs and get them ready to come out :)

The Joy of Side Effects

2010-02-18T16:26:00.001-08:00

Today is my third day of the lovely lupron shot. Just kidding it really has not been too bad. No side effects yet but I am sure they are coming. I have had a tougher time with my anxiety than I have had with actually taking the shots. Taking medicines always make me nervous. I was laying in bed the other night, wondering to myself why me??? I think that is something that everyone wonders while going through infertility. I truly think that I am going through this to make me get over my fears. 1) I am scared to have blood drawn because there could be something wrong with me- I have had to had blood drawn now many many many times 2) I hate to have surgery because I am always scared I will not wake up after being put to sleep- I have had my first surgery and I got through it. 3) I hate taking medicine because of the side effects- I have taken many medicines now through my IUIs and now IVF, every one of them is making me face my fears head on. So through this hard journey of infertility I have had to face most of my fears. Have I had anxiety attacks? Yes! but I have gotten through them. Have I been scared to death on many ocassions? Yes! but again I had to be strong enough to get through them. I have learned that I am much stronger than I thought I was. So as long and hard as this journey is I am getting through it one day at a time!

Right now I am just counting down the days to be off the birth control pills. Thank God Saturday is my last day of the horrible little white pills. They have had three side effects 1) starving all the time which has not been good for weight watchers 2) I never have pimples and now I have a lot of little pimples 3) I have horrible dry mouth (My mouth is like the Sahara Desert every afternoon) this has been above and beyond the worst side effect!

I just keep telling myself this will all be worth it in the end!!!

My Rose

2010-02-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

My sweet in-laws send me a small rose bush for my first surgery that was scheduled in November. As you know I had to cancel my November surgery, then I rescheduled it for December. I got sick again and had to cancel my December surgery. I kept wondering when my bush was going to get it's first rose, then the day of my surgery this time I woke up to a beautiful yellow rose. It bloomed at the perfect time and really made my day :)

1st Day of Shots Done!

2010-02-16T19:39:00.001-08:00

I came home today to a big box of all my meds that I have to take throughout my IVF cycle. I knew it would be a lot of meds...but I was still surprised to see just how much was in there. For those who know me really well you know just how much I hate to take medicine. It makes my anxiety really bad. I could care less if the shots hurt, it's the side effects that scare me. The shot that I started tonight Lupron had a list of side effects a mile long. So all day I just told myself it was worth it for the possible outcome.

Tonight was my first night to start giving myself shots. For the next nine days I have give myself one shot of Lupron. After going to the shot teach the other day I felt confident that I could do it. So I pulled out my instructions, filled the shot (Thank God it was a tiny needle), and gave it to myself in my stomach. It honestly didn't hurt when I gave myself the shot, it just stung a little afterwards. Now I have a small red blotch on my stomach. Overall it was really not a big deal :)

Woo Hoo, my 1st Surgery is Over!!!

2010-02-15T07:58:00.000-08:00

Well my surgery was bright and early this morning. After not sleeping a wink I got up at 4. My Mom, Stephen, and I were out the door at 4:45. We got to the hospital about 5:20. I checked in, filled out even more paper work, and then went up stairs to where the surgery was going to take place. Shortly after I got up there I was taken to my pre-op room to put on my lovely gown. The gowns there are called Bair Paws...they have all these crazy ports in them that you can put this long tube that shoots hot air into your gown (See Pictures to the right).Everyone who came in my room asked if I wanted it hooked up to my gown....my answer was always no. Stephen kept being funny and tried to hook it to my gown. Anyway,next one of my many sweet nurses came in to hook up my IV and ask even more questions. It is crazy how many times they ask you your full name, birthday, the procedure you are having, and who your doctor is. At 7:30 they wheeled me back to the operating room. Even though I have had surgery before I was scared to death. The anesthesiologist asked me how I was, I told her I was nervous but ready to get it over with. She said that she gave me a little something for that and then I don't remember anything till I woke up in the recovery room. In the recovery room I woke up feeling a little out of it and crampy but not to bad. Dr. W went out to let Mom and Stephen know that my surgery went well. He said that he removed a small polyp and that the rest of my uterus looked good. After recovery I went to my discharge room. The sweet nurse gave me graham crackers and a coke. Shortly after Mom and Stephen came in. I got dressed back in my normal clothes and then it was time to go home. After I got home I caught up on some of my shows on the DVR and then took a much needed nap. Right now I am feeling good, still just crampy, and thankful that the whole thing is over. Tomorrow it is time to start my shots!

Just got my IV

One of my wonderful nurses. They were all so sweet!

Me and my wonderful husband.

Me and my sweet Mom.

After Surgery eating graham crackers and drinking Coke :)

Dreading Tomorrow!

2010-02-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

Well tomorrow is my first of two surgeries. Neither of which I am looking forward to. The surgery tomorrow is my polyp removal surgery which is actually a DNC. We have to be there at 5:30 am and the surgery is suppose to start at 7:30am. Dr. W said the surgery is suppose to take a total of 10 minutes. So my fingers are crossed that everything will go well :) I will update again tomorrow once I am home.

Do you really trust me to give myself shots????

2010-02-12T15:32:00.000-08:00

I worried all morning that I was not going to make it to the doctor because of the snow but thank God the snow decided to start after I got there. My doctors appointment today had three parts. The first part of the appointment was the trial transfer. They do the trial transfer to see what it is like inside your cervix so they day of egg retrieval there are no surprises. It ended up being really quick.....a little uncomfortable...but it was not to bad at all. The second part of the appointment was blood work. That is one thing about the infertility office, they either take blood, give you a shot, or a combination of both each and every time you go. The third part of the appointment was the shot teach. Honestly, this part was so weird to me. I have been lucky enough to be healthy my whole life so I have never even thought about giving myself shots. The whole time she was showing me how to do it, I know I had a look on my face like you trust me to do this. During the shot teach she taught me how to give myself each shot. The first shot I have to take is called Lupron. Lupron is already mixed so that is one of the easy ones. The second shot I have to take is a mixture of two different medicines called Bravelle and Menopur.This shot it to stimulate my eggs. This shot is a little more difficult because it is 4 vials of meds and water that have to be mixed together. The last shot is the HCG shot which is the trigger shot. I will have to take this shot 35 hours before my egg retrieval. This shot is another one that I have to mix but seems a little easier than the second shot.

Today, I also got a list of all the medicines that will delivered to my house on Tuesday. A totally of 9 different medicines at a whopping 2,100.00. It could be worse through we were originally told that the medicine could be between 2,500 to 5,500. We got lucky because insurance paid for all the pills and we just had to pay out of pocket for the shots.

If anyone has a kid that wants to be a doctor, tell them to go into infertility because they have to make a fortune!

Snow, Snow Go Away!

2010-02-11T18:24:00.001-08:00

So it looks like Atlanta is suppose to get snow tomorrow. Normally I wouldn't care, but tomorrow is my trial transfer and shot teach appointment. I really hope I can go to the appointment because I have to start my shots on Tuesday. I guess I will just have to wait to see if we get snow and see if it sticks.

If you are sick.....STAY AWAY.......

2010-02-10T18:04:00.000-08:00

I had my pre-op for my polyp removal surgery today (This was my 3rd pre-op). If you have read my previous post you know that I have had to cancel this surgery two other times. The first I had a really bad sinus infection so they cancelled it. Then the second time I had food poisoning so again they had to cancel it. So here we are and I am hoping that third time is a charm. As much as I am dreading having this surgery I really want to get it over with so that IVF can finally start. The bad thing is Stephen has been home all week with a fever and every student in my class has a really bad cold. I am just now getting over the cold the kids have so I am hoping not to get it again. I am taking all precaution that I can, I am washing my hand like a crazy person and keeping my hands off my face. The count down has begun.....4 days till my surgery. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that I stay healthy!

The Long Road To Come......

2010-02-09T06:52:00.000-08:00

As the dates get closer to starting the crazy ride known as IVF, I have to say that I am getting more nervous by the day. I have noticed that it is taking me much longer to go to sleep because my head is spinning thinking about all the things that are ahead of me. I am very nervous about having two surgeries in a month. It is not that I am scared of what they are doing during the surgeries but I really hate being put to sleep. I can tell myself with my logic that everything will be fine but there is always the what-ifs that come creeping up in the back of my head. After reading a lot of blogs I have to say that I am also really nervous to start the shots. The first shot I have to take is called Lupron. Lupron pretty much is like menopause in a bottle. Hot flashes, irritability and headaches are just a few of the lovely side effects.

On a positive note I have to say Thank You to Evan whose blog I read last night. Her journey through infertility sounds a lot like mine. The great news is that she had a beautiful set of triplets from IVF. Her story really gave me hope!

With my polyp removal surgery just around the corner my IVF nurse has given me the dates that everything should happen from this point on. That is if the surgery goes well. Fingers crossed! Here are the dates....

February 10- Pre-op for surgery with Dr.W at my OB/GYN (DONE)
February 12- Trial Transfer and Shot Teach at ACRM (DONE)
February 15- Polyp Removal Surgery- Bright and Early I have to be there at 5:30am (DONE)
February 16- Start the Lupron Shots 0.1 cc (DONE)
February 20th- Last day of birth control. (DONE)
February 26th- Baseline Ultrasound and Bloodwork. First day of Bravelle and Menopur. Lupron shots will reduce from 0.1 to 0.05.(First day of Stimulation) (DONE)
March 3rd- Ultrasound and blood work. ( Day 6 of Stimulation) (DONE)
March 5-12th- I will have to go to the doctor everyday even Saturday and Sunday for an ultrasound and blood work.
March 9th- is my possible egg retrieval
March 7-11th- The Egg retrieval will happen a day this week. I will not know until the day before.
Not sure when but soon after they will put the fertilized Eggs back in :) I will update this part when I know more :) I will also continue to update the dates as I know them :)

Brilliant Blogs

2010-02-08T03:56:00.000-08:00

Last night I decided to start reading other peoples blogs that have gone through the same thing that I am going through. It is nice to not feel like the only infertile person in a land full of fertile people. I guess by reading these blogs I wanted to have questions answered but what I found was so much more. Not only did I have questions answered but I laughed my ass off. To whoever you are out there in cyberspace with the screen name onepinkline....I want to Thank You! Thank You for the laughs, Thank You for your honesty, and Thank You for the advice. Here is here blog address http://invitroveritas.wordpress.com/

Feeling Good Today. Ready for the long road ahead of me.

Thank You For All Your Support!

2010-02-07T18:10:00.000-08:00

I just want to thank my husband, friends, and family for all of the support and input. It has really been a struggle to decide which option to go with. In my heart I knew that option 1 was not the right choice for us. But option 2 and 3 had their own pros and cons. After talking about it all weekend with my husband and listening to what everyone had to say....we have decided to go with option 2. I have put myself through so much already that if it does not work after 4 tries then adoption is the right road for us.

A few people asked a few questions. So here are the answers

The first question was if we get pregnant the first try what will they do with the rest of the eggs? If we have any eggs left we will freeze them for future use. My fingers are crossed that will will have eggs left because then I will not have to go through the egg retrieval again and the cost goes down the second time.

The second question was How many eggs are we willing to transfer? Well because of my age the most the doctor will transfer is two. Even though there is a chance that we could end up with up to four if those eggs happened to split....just for better chances we are going to transfer 2 eggs.

The third question is what doctor are we using? We are going to ACRM- The Atlanta Center for Reproductive Medicine. I normally see Dr. Denis but I have seen others too.

So as of right now I am continuing to take my birth control pills daily and getting ready for our next appointment which is Friday. During that appointment they will do a trial transfer to map out what it is like in there so on the day of egg retrieval there are no surprises and we also have to go through the shot teach so that Stephen can learn to give me shots.

I guess that is all for now. Thanks again for all your love, prayers, and support!

The Big Decision

2010-02-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

When it comes to infertility there are many decisions that you have to make. The first big decision we had to make was to go with the adoption or infertility/in vitro route. That alone was a very hard decision. Adoption can range anywhere between 15,000-30,000. In Vitro can range any where from 20,000-45,000. They are both a whole lot of money. Adoption is pretty much a sure thing if you are willing to patiently wait for the couple to choose you, the baby to be born, and then you just have to hope the birth parents sign the papers. There is always the chance that the birth parents will not sign the papers which means you have to start all over again. Then there is in vitro which is by no means a sure thing. It is a gamble but all infertility treatments are. Going to infertility cost a lot of money from day one. First both Stephen and I had to have a combined total of 2,500.00 worth of blood work done that insurance did not cover. Then we both had to have tests done to rule out many possible things that could be wrong. They check sperm count, they make sure that I had eggs (which I did) ,and they make sure your fallopian tubes are open (which they were). Depending on what they find during those tests there are even more tests that could possible come up. While they were doing the not so fun test to make sure my tubes were open they found the polyp in my uterus. Which meant that I had to have another expensive test done to check that out further. After having all of those tests, that is when the doctor decided to have us try IUIs first. Like I said in a early post neither of the IUIs worked....so it was a waste of a lot of time off work and waste of about 4,000.00. That is when we made the decision to try in vitro. Even though it is a gamble it is worth it to Stephen and I to have our own child.
That brings us to present day and the big decision we need to make this weekend. There are 3 different options when it comes to how they price in vitro. Here are the three options... When looking at these options, remember that the decision has to be made before you start the in vitro process. (Plus this is all out of pocket, no insurance coverage)
Option 1- 15,000- One round of in vitro. It either works or it doesn't. No second chance unless you want to pay the 15,000 again. Even though we have a 70% success rate...you never know if it will work or not.
Option 2- 25,000- - Four rounds of in vitro- 2 fresh eggs/ 2 frozen eggs. In this option you pay for two chances but you get four. BUT IF YOU GET PREGNANT ON THE FIRST TRY YOU LOSE THE OTHER 3 THAT YOU PAID FOR. Plus you have to have the egg retrieval surgery done twice.
Option 3- 30,000 (With a 70% refund if none of the six work)- Six rounds of in vitro - 3 fresh eggs/ 3 frozen eggs. In this option you pay for three chances but you get six. BUT IF YOU GET PREGNANT ON THE FIRST TRY YOU LOSE THE OTHER 5 THAT YOU PAID FOR. Plus you have to have the egg retrieval surgery done three times. So if we got pregnant on the first try we lost 30,000 dollars that we didn't need to spend. But you have to look at it from the other way that with that 70% you could possible get back you could put that towards adoption.

So Friends here is our big decision...What is your Input?????

Starting Birth Control Pills...HUH?

2010-02-03T18:40:00.000-08:00

So when the infertility doctor told me that he was putting me on birth control pills I look at him like he was crazy. I was thinking...ummmm you know I am trying to get pregnant right. He explained that taking birth control pills decrease risk of ovarian hyper stimulation and ovarian cysts. He also explained that it helps your chances for success.

So today after work , as weird as it felt....I went to go pick up my birth control pills. Tomorrow is the first day I am suppose to start taking them.....which means that our in vitro journey will officially begin! FINALLY!

Let's Start At The Beginning Of Our Journey

2010-02-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

I have always known that I wanted to have kids. I have always known that I was meant to be a mommy. Like many women I always wondered to myself if I would have problems getting pregnant. My Mom had a hard time getting pregnant with me so I knew there was a chance I would have the same problem.

Stephen and I had been married for about a year when we started trying to get pregnant. To our surprise we got pregnant the first month we started trying. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. It was November 2007, Stephen and I were up at his parents house for Thanksgiving. That whole week I was really tired and a few days late for my period. I told Stephen there was a chance I was pregnant but I doubted it. We went straight to the drug store to buy pregnancy tests. Yes, I said tests I took many of them. Once we got back to Stephen's parents house I took the test and to my surprise it came back positive. I was pregnant! Stephen was excited but in shock and I was just super excited. Two of my best friends were pregnant at the same time so I was so excited to know we were going to all go through it together. Stephen and I told his parents and my parents that day. Everyone was so excited. It would be both of our parents first grand baby. Two days later we left Stephen's parents house to go back to our house. A few days after we got home I had some cramping and a little blood. I called the doctor and they said that a little blood was normal and not to worry. Later that day the blood got a lot heavier. I kept calling my mom. She kept telling me not to worry, she was doing her best to keep me from worrying. Of course I was on the Internet reading everything I could get my hands on. The next day I went to the doctor. Stephen and my mom tried to go with me but I knew in my heart that I was having a miscarriage and I just wanted to go alone. My wonderful doctor who I have known forever checked me and took some blood work. He told me to stay positive and we would just have to see what the numbers from the blood work looked like. Well the next day he called me with the results. I already knew what he was going to say so I was no surprised, I was having a miscarriage. After a long few days and a lot of pain, it was over. I had lost the baby. Stephen and I made the decision to take a break from trying for a few months.

After trying for over a year after the miscarriage, Stephen and I decided to make an appointment to go see an infertility doctor. On August 18, 2009 I went to the infertility doctor for the first time. After a lot of tests that were not so fun, the doctors really couldn't find anything wrong with us. The only thing they found was a polyp in my uterus but he said that would not stop us from getting pregnant. The infertility doctor recommended that we try 2-3 IUI's before doing anything else. So we did, I had two IUI's. Sadly they didn't work so we went back to talk to the doctor again. This time he thought it would be best if we tried in vitro. But before starting in vitro I have to have the polyp out. I have been scheduled to have it out twice, but I got sick both times. So now the surgery is rescheduled for February 15th....so I better stay healthy :)
Right now my fingers are crossed and I am hoping that our dreams of becoming parents will come true!

In Vitro to Hopefully Pregnancy and now on to Adoption *Fingers Crossed*