Here are a Few Shot Pictures

Giving myself the stim shot...feel the burn!

Oh yay Shot...LOL

Mixing Stim Shot

Me and My Wonderful Husband and hopefully future baby daddy!

Mixing the stim shot

Giving myself the Lupron Shot

Getting the air out

Drawing up my Lupron

Getting my Lupron Ready

My Shots for just one day.

Burn Baby Burn, Gotta Love Those Stim Shots

So last night was the first night of my stim shots. I also reduced the lupron shot from 10cc to 5cc. I was more nervous about mixing all the medicines than I was about the actual shot. Thank God for Youtube because there was a girl that showed me how to do it :)To get the stim shots ready there are a total of 4 vials. 1 vial of sodium chloride, 2 vials of a powder drug called Bravelle and 1 vial of another powder drug called menopur. To mix these you start by taking a big needle off a syringe, there are things called q-caps which fit on the top of the vials. The syringe screws on the top of the q-cap. Next you place the q-cap on the bottle of sodium chloride, draw up 1cc of liquid. Then you put the q-cap on the next vial and squirt in the liquid. You continue to do that through each vial until they are all mixed together. Then you remove the syringe from the q-cap and screw on a small needle on to the syringe. Now it is finally time to give yourself the shot. This shot is a lot different than giving myself the lupron shot. The lupron shot is a really small amount and the liquid comes out quickly. The stim shot is another story, it is a lot more liquid and it comes out very slowly. Plus it burns while going in. Overall, I have to say it has been so far so good. I haven't had any side effects yet but it is also only day two.

Hooray for Sleeping Eggs!

This morning was my first ultrasound and blood work appointment since starting the Lupron injections. Lupron's job is to put my follicles which contain the eggs in resting mode. During my ultrasound today the doctor said the Lupron did its job. She explained that the lining of my uterus looked thin as it should and my follicles were completely resting. This afternoon the nurse called about my blood work, she said that all of my blood work was perfect. The nurse also gave me the go ahead to start my stimulation shots tonight. I am so ready to start them because they are suppose to make my hormones go back to normal :) But I will say that I am scared at the same time because I have to mix 4 different vials of medicines together into one shot. They showed me how to do it and I have written directions but it is still a lot to remember. I will also stay on the Lupron but it will drop down to 5cc instead of 10cc a day. So that means tonight I will have 2 shots instead of one. I will update later tonight or tomorrow about how it goes :)

Not So Little Miss Sunshine

Wow, so how I have been feeling is so foreign to me. I am normally happy and in a good mood. I love little Miss Sunshine and have always thought I was a lot like her character. Happy, smiling, and with pig tails. But something about these medicines have made me completely cranky. Like I said in my previous post I have a rather short fuse. I normally never cry or get mad to often. But over the past week I have cried during tv shows and gotten mad at the stupidest things. In my favorite blog the girl who wrote it made a list of all of the stupid things she got mad about while on these shots. I can totally relate. I am sure my list would be really long.

I go to the infertility doctor at 8am to have a baseline ultrasound and blood work done to make sure that the lupron is doing what it is suppose to be doing. The good news is if all goes well I am supposed to start my stimulation shots which from what I have read will balance back out my hormones. For every ones sake who has had to deal with me, I hope this is true :)

Human Pin Cushion

It has been a few days since I updated so I decided to write a quick update. Well today is day 7 of my Lupron shots. Everyone has asked how things are going and my only response is I feel like a human pin cushion. I know that feeling will continue to get worse since I go to two shots on Friday. But overall, I can honestly say that I have been feeling pretty good. I haven't had many side effects in the past few days. Since Saturday I haven't had anymore headaches or hot flashes. The only side effect that I have really noticed is that I have a short fuse. I was in Petsmart and every aisle I went down there was someone standing there talking and not moving when I wanted to get by. Even when they saw me standing there. I thought I was going to yell at someone before I left. (I did hit someone with my cart.....oops) LOL! Which is not really like me because I am normally pretty laid back.

That is all for now. I go to the doctor on Friday to see if the Lupron is doing what it is suppose to do. Feeling Postive and throwing Baby Dust all over myself :)

Headaches and Hot Flashes

So today was day 5 of the Lupron shots. I woke up this morning with a horrible headache that decided to stick around all day no matter what medicine I took. I decided not to let it ruin my day so Stephen and I went to lunch and went shopping. While shopping I began to have a few hot flashes here and there but nothing to bad. After we got back home I had enough of my headache so I decided to take a nap to see if that would help. After sleeping for 2 hours I woke up headache free. I am hoping I don't have to many more headaches because they are just no fun.

The great news is that today is my last day of taking the birth control pill!! Woo Hoo! I am happy about that for a few reasons. One is because it is one less medicine that I have to worry about taking and two hopefully my dry mouth will go away.

I guess that is really all that is going on for now. I have a doctors appointment this coming Friday to see if the lupron shots are working. If they are I will begin the other set of shots that will stimulate my eggs and get them ready to come out :)

The Joy of Side Effects

Today is my third day of the lovely lupron shot. Just kidding it really has not been too bad. No side effects yet but I am sure they are coming. I have had a tougher time with my anxiety than I have had with actually taking the shots. Taking medicines always make me nervous. I was laying in bed the other night, wondering to myself why me??? I think that is something that everyone wonders while going through infertility. I truly think that I am going through this to make me get over my fears. 1) I am scared to have blood drawn because there could be something wrong with me- I have had to had blood drawn now many many many times 2) I hate to have surgery because I am always scared I will not wake up after being put to sleep- I have had my first surgery and I got through it. 3) I hate taking medicine because of the side effects- I have taken many medicines now through my IUIs and now IVF, every one of them is making me face my fears head on. So through this hard journey of infertility I have had to face most of my fears. Have I had anxiety attacks? Yes! but I have gotten through them. Have I been scared to death on many ocassions? Yes! but again I had to be strong enough to get through them. I have learned that I am much stronger than I thought I was. So as long and hard as this journey is I am getting through it one day at a time!

Right now I am just counting down the days to be off the birth control pills. Thank God Saturday is my last day of the horrible little white pills. They have had three side effects 1) starving all the time which has not been good for weight watchers 2) I never have pimples and now I have a lot of little pimples 3) I have horrible dry mouth (My mouth is like the Sahara Desert every afternoon) this has been above and beyond the worst side effect!

I just keep telling myself this will all be worth it in the end!!!

My Rose

My sweet in-laws send me a small rose bush for my first surgery that was scheduled in November. As you know I had to cancel my November surgery, then I rescheduled it for December. I got sick again and had to cancel my December surgery. I kept wondering when my bush was going to get it's first rose, then the day of my surgery this time I woke up to a beautiful yellow rose. It bloomed at the perfect time and really made my day :)

1st Day of Shots Done!

I came home today to a big box of all my meds that I have to take throughout my IVF cycle. I knew it would be a lot of meds...but I was still surprised to see just how much was in there. For those who know me really well you know just how much I hate to take medicine. It makes my anxiety really bad. I could care less if the shots hurt, it's the side effects that scare me. The shot that I started tonight Lupron had a list of side effects a mile long. So all day I just told myself it was worth it for the possible outcome.

Tonight was my first night to start giving myself shots. For the next nine days I have give myself one shot of Lupron. After going to the shot teach the other day I felt confident that I could do it. So I pulled out my instructions, filled the shot (Thank God it was a tiny needle), and gave it to myself in my stomach. It honestly didn't hurt when I gave myself the shot, it just stung a little afterwards. Now I have a small red blotch on my stomach. Overall it was really not a big deal :)

Woo Hoo, my 1st Surgery is Over!!!

Well my surgery was bright and early this morning. After not sleeping a wink I got up at 4. My Mom, Stephen, and I were out the door at 4:45. We got to the hospital about 5:20. I checked in, filled out even more paper work, and then went up stairs to where the surgery was going to take place. Shortly after I got up there I was taken to my pre-op room to put on my lovely gown. The gowns there are called Bair Paws...they have all these crazy ports in them that you can put this long tube that shoots hot air into your gown (See Pictures to the right).Everyone who came in my room asked if I wanted it hooked up to my gown....my answer was always no. Stephen kept being funny and tried to hook it to my gown. Anyway,next one of my many sweet nurses came in to hook up my IV and ask even more questions. It is crazy how many times they ask you your full name, birthday, the procedure you are having, and who your doctor is. At 7:30 they wheeled me back to the operating room. Even though I have had surgery before I was scared to death. The anesthesiologist asked me how I was, I told her I was nervous but ready to get it over with. She said that she gave me a little something for that and then I don't remember anything till I woke up in the recovery room. In the recovery room I woke up feeling a little out of it and crampy but not to bad. Dr. W went out to let Mom and Stephen know that my surgery went well. He said that he removed a small polyp and that the rest of my uterus looked good. After recovery I went to my discharge room. The sweet nurse gave me graham crackers and a coke. Shortly after Mom and Stephen came in. I got dressed back in my normal clothes and then it was time to go home. After I got home I caught up on some of my shows on the DVR and then took a much needed nap. Right now I am feeling good, still just crampy, and thankful that the whole thing is over. Tomorrow it is time to start my shots!

Just got my IV



One of my wonderful nurses. They were all so sweet!

Me and my wonderful husband.

Me and my sweet Mom.

After Surgery eating graham crackers and drinking Coke :)

Dreading Tomorrow!

Well tomorrow is my first of two surgeries. Neither of which I am looking forward to. The surgery tomorrow is my polyp removal surgery which is actually a DNC. We have to be there at 5:30 am and the surgery is suppose to start at 7:30am. Dr. W said the surgery is suppose to take a total of 10 minutes. So my fingers are crossed that everything will go well :) I will update again tomorrow once I am home.

Do you really trust me to give myself shots????

I worried all morning that I was not going to make it to the doctor because of the snow but thank God the snow decided to start after I got there. My doctors appointment today had three parts. The first part of the appointment was the trial transfer. They do the trial transfer to see what it is like inside your cervix so they day of egg retrieval there are no surprises. It ended up being really quick.....a little uncomfortable...but it was not to bad at all. The second part of the appointment was blood work. That is one thing about the infertility office, they either take blood, give you a shot, or a combination of both each and every time you go. The third part of the appointment was the shot teach. Honestly, this part was so weird to me. I have been lucky enough to be healthy my whole life so I have never even thought about giving myself shots. The whole time she was showing me how to do it, I know I had a look on my face like you trust me to do this. During the shot teach she taught me how to give myself each shot. The first shot I have to take is called Lupron. Lupron is already mixed so that is one of the easy ones. The second shot I have to take is a mixture of two different medicines called Bravelle and Menopur.This shot it to stimulate my eggs. This shot is a little more difficult because it is 4 vials of meds and water that have to be mixed together. The last shot is the HCG shot which is the trigger shot. I will have to take this shot 35 hours before my egg retrieval. This shot is another one that I have to mix but seems a little easier than the second shot.

Today, I also got a list of all the medicines that will delivered to my house on Tuesday. A totally of 9 different medicines at a whopping 2,100.00. It could be worse through we were originally told that the medicine could be between 2,500 to 5,500. We got lucky because insurance paid for all the pills and we just had to pay out of pocket for the shots.

If anyone has a kid that wants to be a doctor, tell them to go into infertility because they have to make a fortune!

Snow, Snow Go Away!

So it looks like Atlanta is suppose to get snow tomorrow. Normally I wouldn't care, but tomorrow is my trial transfer and shot teach appointment. I really hope I can go to the appointment because I have to start my shots on Tuesday. I guess I will just have to wait to see if we get snow and see if it sticks.

If you are sick.....STAY AWAY.......

I had my pre-op for my polyp removal surgery today (This was my 3rd pre-op). If you have read my previous post you know that I have had to cancel this surgery two other times. The first I had a really bad sinus infection so they cancelled it. Then the second time I had food poisoning so again they had to cancel it. So here we are and I am hoping that third time is a charm. As much as I am dreading having this surgery I really want to get it over with so that IVF can finally start. The bad thing is Stephen has been home all week with a fever and every student in my class has a really bad cold. I am just now getting over the cold the kids have so I am hoping not to get it again. I am taking all precaution that I can, I am washing my hand like a crazy person and keeping my hands off my face. The count down has begun.....4 days till my surgery. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that I stay healthy!

The Long Road To Come......

As the dates get closer to starting the crazy ride known as IVF, I have to say that I am getting more nervous by the day. I have noticed that it is taking me much longer to go to sleep because my head is spinning thinking about all the things that are ahead of me. I am very nervous about having two surgeries in a month. It is not that I am scared of what they are doing during the surgeries but I really hate being put to sleep. I can tell myself with my logic that everything will be fine but there is always the what-ifs that come creeping up in the back of my head. After reading a lot of blogs I have to say that I am also really nervous to start the shots. The first shot I have to take is called Lupron. Lupron pretty much is like menopause in a bottle. Hot flashes, irritability and headaches are just a few of the lovely side effects.

On a positive note I have to say Thank You to Evan whose blog I read last night. Her journey through infertility sounds a lot like mine. The great news is that she had a beautiful set of triplets from IVF. Her story really gave me hope!

With my polyp removal surgery just around the corner my IVF nurse has given me the dates that everything should happen from this point on. That is if the surgery goes well. Fingers crossed! Here are the dates....

• February 10- Pre-op for surgery with Dr.W at my OB/GYN (DONE)
• February 12- Trial Transfer and Shot Teach at ACRM (DONE)
• February 15- Polyp Removal Surgery- Bright and Early I have to be there at 5:30am (DONE)
• February 16- Start the Lupron Shots 0.1 cc (DONE)
• February 20th- Last day of birth control. (DONE)
• February 26th- Baseline Ultrasound and Bloodwork. First day of Bravelle and Menopur. Lupron shots will reduce from 0.1 to 0.05.(First day of Stimulation) (DONE)
• March 3rd- Ultrasound and blood work. ( Day 6 of Stimulation) (DONE)
• March 5-12th- I will have to go to the doctor everyday even Saturday and Sunday for an ultrasound and blood work.
• March 9th- is my possible egg retrieval
• March 7-11th- The Egg retrieval will happen a day this week. I will not know until the day before.
• Not sure when but soon after they will put the fertilized Eggs back in :) I will update this part when I know more :) I will also continue to update the dates as I know them :)

Brilliant Blogs

Last night I decided to start reading other peoples blogs that have gone through the same thing that I am going through. It is nice to not feel like the only infertile person in a land full of fertile people. I guess by reading these blogs I wanted to have questions answered but what I found was so much more. Not only did I have questions answered but I laughed my ass off. To whoever you are out there in cyberspace with the screen name onepinkline....I want to Thank You! Thank You for the laughs, Thank You for your honesty, and Thank You for the advice. Here is here blog address http://invitroveritas.wordpress.com/

Feeling Good Today. Ready for the long road ahead of me.

Thank You For All Your Support!

I just want to thank my husband, friends, and family for all of the support and input. It has really been a struggle to decide which option to go with. In my heart I knew that option 1 was not the right choice for us. But option 2 and 3 had their own pros and cons. After talking about it all weekend with my husband and listening to what everyone had to say....we have decided to go with option 2. I have put myself through so much already that if it does not work after 4 tries then adoption is the right road for us.

A few people asked a few questions. So here are the answers

The first question was if we get pregnant the first try what will they do with the rest of the eggs? If we have any eggs left we will freeze them for future use. My fingers are crossed that will will have eggs left because then I will not have to go through the egg retrieval again and the cost goes down the second time.

The second question was How many eggs are we willing to transfer? Well because of my age the most the doctor will transfer is two. Even though there is a chance that we could end up with up to four if those eggs happened to split....just for better chances we are going to transfer 2 eggs.

The third question is what doctor are we using? We are going to ACRM- The Atlanta Center for Reproductive Medicine. I normally see Dr. Denis but I have seen others too.

So as of right now I am continuing to take my birth control pills daily and getting ready for our next appointment which is Friday. During that appointment they will do a trial transfer to map out what it is like in there so on the day of egg retrieval there are no surprises and we also have to go through the shot teach so that Stephen can learn to give me shots.

I guess that is all for now. Thanks again for all your love, prayers, and support!

The Big Decision

When it comes to infertility there are many decisions that you have to make. The first big decision we had to make was to go with the adoption or infertility/in vitro route. That alone was a very hard decision. Adoption can range anywhere between 15,000-30,000. In Vitro can range any where from 20,000-45,000. They are both a whole lot of money. Adoption is pretty much a sure thing if you are willing to patiently wait for the couple to choose you, the baby to be born, and then you just have to hope the birth parents sign the papers. There is always the chance that the birth parents will not sign the papers which means you have to start all over again. Then there is in vitro which is by no means a sure thing. It is a gamble but all infertility treatments are. Going to infertility cost a lot of money from day one. First both Stephen and I had to have a combined total of 2,500.00 worth of blood work done that insurance did not cover. Then we both had to have tests done to rule out many possible things that could be wrong. They check sperm count, they make sure that I had eggs (which I did) ,and they make sure your fallopian tubes are open (which they were). Depending on what they find during those tests there are even more tests that could possible come up. While they were doing the not so fun test to make sure my tubes were open they found the polyp in my uterus. Which meant that I had to have another expensive test done to check that out further. After having all of those tests, that is when the doctor decided to have us try IUIs first. Like I said in a early post neither of the IUIs worked....so it was a waste of a lot of time off work and waste of about 4,000.00. That is when we made the decision to try in vitro. Even though it is a gamble it is worth it to Stephen and I to have our own child.
That brings us to present day and the big decision we need to make this weekend. There are 3 different options when it comes to how they price in vitro. Here are the three options... When looking at these options, remember that the decision has to be made before you start the in vitro process. (Plus this is all out of pocket, no insurance coverage)
Option 1- 15,000- One round of in vitro. It either works or it doesn't. No second chance unless you want to pay the 15,000 again. Even though we have a 70% success rate...you never know if it will work or not.
Option 2- 25,000- - Four rounds of in vitro- 2 fresh eggs/ 2 frozen eggs. In this option you pay for two chances but you get four. BUT IF YOU GET PREGNANT ON THE FIRST TRY YOU LOSE THE OTHER 3 THAT YOU PAID FOR. Plus you have to have the egg retrieval surgery done twice.
Option 3- 30,000 (With a 70% refund if none of the six work)- Six rounds of in vitro - 3 fresh eggs/ 3 frozen eggs. In this option you pay for three chances but you get six. BUT IF YOU GET PREGNANT ON THE FIRST TRY YOU LOSE THE OTHER 5 THAT YOU PAID FOR. Plus you have to have the egg retrieval surgery done three times. So if we got pregnant on the first try we lost 30,000 dollars that we didn't need to spend. But you have to look at it from the other way that with that 70% you could possible get back you could put that towards adoption.

So Friends here is our big decision...What is your Input?????

Starting Birth Control Pills...HUH?

So when the infertility doctor told me that he was putting me on birth control pills I look at him like he was crazy. I was thinking...ummmm you know I am trying to get pregnant right. He explained that taking birth control pills decrease risk of ovarian hyper stimulation and ovarian cysts. He also explained that it helps your chances for success.

So today after work , as weird as it felt....I went to go pick up my birth control pills. Tomorrow is the first day I am suppose to start taking them.....which means that our in vitro journey will officially begin! FINALLY!

Let's Start At The Beginning Of Our Journey

I have always known that I wanted to have kids. I have always known that I was meant to be a mommy. Like many women I always wondered to myself if I would have problems getting pregnant. My Mom had a hard time getting pregnant with me so I knew there was a chance I would have the same problem.

Stephen and I had been married for about a year when we started trying to get pregnant. To our surprise we got pregnant the first month we started trying. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. It was November 2007, Stephen and I were up at his parents house for Thanksgiving. That whole week I was really tired and a few days late for my period. I told Stephen there was a chance I was pregnant but I doubted it. We went straight to the drug store to buy pregnancy tests. Yes, I said tests I took many of them. Once we got back to Stephen's parents house I took the test and to my surprise it came back positive. I was pregnant! Stephen was excited but in shock and I was just super excited. Two of my best friends were pregnant at the same time so I was so excited to know we were going to all go through it together. Stephen and I told his parents and my parents that day. Everyone was so excited. It would be both of our parents first grand baby. Two days later we left Stephen's parents house to go back to our house. A few days after we got home I had some cramping and a little blood. I called the doctor and they said that a little blood was normal and not to worry. Later that day the blood got a lot heavier. I kept calling my mom. She kept telling me not to worry, she was doing her best to keep me from worrying. Of course I was on the Internet reading everything I could get my hands on. The next day I went to the doctor. Stephen and my mom tried to go with me but I knew in my heart that I was having a miscarriage and I just wanted to go alone. My wonderful doctor who I have known forever checked me and took some blood work. He told me to stay positive and we would just have to see what the numbers from the blood work looked like. Well the next day he called me with the results. I already knew what he was going to say so I was no surprised, I was having a miscarriage. After a long few days and a lot of pain, it was over. I had lost the baby. Stephen and I made the decision to take a break from trying for a few months.

After trying for over a year after the miscarriage, Stephen and I decided to make an appointment to go see an infertility doctor. On August 18, 2009 I went to the infertility doctor for the first time. After a lot of tests that were not so fun, the doctors really couldn't find anything wrong with us. The only thing they found was a polyp in my uterus but he said that would not stop us from getting pregnant. The infertility doctor recommended that we try 2-3 IUI's before doing anything else. So we did, I had two IUI's. Sadly they didn't work so we went back to talk to the doctor again. This time he thought it would be best if we tried in vitro. But before starting in vitro I have to have the polyp out. I have been scheduled to have it out twice, but I got sick both times. So now the surgery is rescheduled for February 15th....so I better stay healthy :)
Right now my fingers are crossed and I am hoping that our dreams of becoming parents will come true!