Our First Two Situations

In the world of adoption there are two main things you focus on which are situations and matching. Just so you know what I am talking about in my posts I will explain both.
Situations- Are each baby that is up for adoption born or unborn.
Matching- In the adoption process the adoptive parents are given information such as the sex and race of the baby, the cost of the adoption (because all situations are different prices), and the medical history of the birth mom/family. In the medical history we are given as much information as she will tell. It also has her drug history during the pregnancy. After looking at the cost and medical information as a couple me and Stephen decide if it is a situation that we either want to present on or we do not. Presenting means that our adoption profile will be given to the birth mom so that she can choose who she wants her baby to go to. Our adoption profile is a lot of pictures of us, our family, our house, and our community, it also has different general information about us.
So far since we started this process we have been presented with two situations.
Situation 1- The first situation was presented us last week. Even though our consultant knew we probably would not present on this situation, she wanted us to make that call. The birth mom was due this week in Utah. It was an African American girl which is what we want and the price was perfect. But the medical history is not a situation that we were willing to take on. There was a long line of mental illness that ran in her family. It broke my heart that we had to turn this one down because I really liked what the Mom had to say in her interview questions.
Situation 2- The second situation was presented to us last Wednesday night. The birth mom had already delivered the baby in Louisiana on Monday. The baby was an African American girl which was perfect. The price of the adoption was a little more than we wanted to pay but the baby was healthy and the medical history looked good. Automatically Stephen and I decided to present on it. Our consultant told us that the birth Mom wanted a couple that is under 35 and wanted the family to have another adopted child. We knew from the beginning that we were not exactly what she wanted but she could always change her mind. She was suppose to get our profile on Thursday so we waited all day to hear something but we heard nothing. Then we were told on Thursday that she had the profiles but wanted to sleep on it. So we waited all day Friday on pins and needles to hear something. Later Friday our consultant called to let us know that the agency did not give her the profiles until late Friday after she signed the papers. Her choice was between three families. One of the other families we knew about but the other family we knew nothing about. The family we knew about was over 45 and had 6 kids. So pretty much it seemed like it was between us and the unknown couple. Finally at about three o'clock on Saturday afternoon we got the call that the birthmom had choosen the other couple. It turned out that the unknown couple was under 35 and had another African American adopted child. So they were exactly what the birthmom wanted.
Honestly as much as I wanted that baby we are ok that we didn't get her. First of all since it didn't work out then it was not meant to be our baby. Second I really wanted to meet the birthmom and I was sad that we had missed 6 days of the baby's life. I know that our little Elle is still out there. So right now we are just waiting on more situations :) Hopefully there will be some more this week. Until next time love and baby dust!

Woo Hoo!!!

Woo Hoo!!! Our FBI finger prints came back today. They normally take 10-13 weeks but thanks to my mom the miracle worker they were back in 8 business days!!! Now we are all done with our paperwork for our home study.
Now we are on to filling out paperwork for the adoption agencies.
Mom and I also started painting the babies room and started paint the crib :) So excited it is all coming together!!
Until next time love and baby dust!!

Maybe May

Let me first start out by saying that I am sorry for not updating as often as I used to. I have been getting in trouble by people wanting to hear updates...LOL. So here is the update. On my last post I said it would be around June when my finger prints came back from the FBI. Through my Mom the miracle worker it looks like they could be back a lot sooner...like maybe this week. (FINGERS CROSSED)That means if that happens we can present our profile too birth moms that are due in May.
In a previous post I said that we were open to any sex and any race. But being the planner that I am I could not stand not knowing if it will be a boy or a girl. So Stephen and I talked and we decided that we are going to get a girl. We are still not picky about race. To us a baby is a baby :) We also decided on a name. Her name will be Elle Elizabeth Jakse. I have wanted to use the name Elle for a long time because I am obsessed with Legally Blonde if you didn't know. Elizabeth is Stephen's Moms name so we also wanted to use that. So there you have it...that is her name :)
So to get ready for Elle's arrival we have been quite busy getting her room ready. Her room will be my old craft room. We have to replace the flooring because I spilled turquoise all over the carpet..oops. We decided instead of replacing the carpet we will put down wood laminates. Last weekend we took out all the carpets and repainted the base boards. This week we are painted the walls. Then this weekend we are putting in the floors. Oh, I also picked out her bedding and went to Lenox to get it at Pottery Barn Kids :) It is so cute it is called Penelope. I have also been getting outfits here and there and Stephen got her his favorite books. LOL can you tell we are excited!!
Well I think that is all that is going on now. I promiss to update more often :)So until next time love and baby dust :)

Update on Our Adoption Journey

I have to start by saying THANK YOU so much to all our friends and family for their support!! Everyone is so excited about the adoption. Our future baby is going to be so lucky to have so many people that love and care about him/her.

On Tuesday Stephen and I met with C to talk about her possible being our adoption consultant. It was an easy decision because we loved her. She was so nice and knew a lot about adoption. I truly felt like we were in good hands! We had a list of questions and she had all the answers that I was hoping for. She brought us many different adoption profile books to look at so we know what kind of pictures she needs and just to get an idea of what they are like. All I can say is thank God I have taken so many pictures throughout the years because see needs 80-100 pictures. After Stephen and I decided to use C as our adoption consultant, we completed all the paperwork that she needed so she can compile our book. The next step is for her to start sending them to birth moms on the situations that we want to present to.
Other than that I have been doing a lot of research about the different state laws for adoption and what all is involved in the adoption process. I have to say that the book I got the Idiots Guide to Adoption has been wonderful. I have learned a whole lot!
We have also been finishing our paperwork for our home study. We only have three more forms to get to her and we have everything done that we can do. Then we just have to wait on our FBI prints that normally take 10-13 weeks. Luckily I have a few things in the works to try and speed that up so we will see what happens!! Keep your fingers crossed. The sooner we get those prints back the sooner we can be parents :)I am getting more excited by the day and so is Stephen. I have been busy looking at bedding and other things for the baby. It is so awesome to think that we could be parents in the next couple of months!
I think that is all the news I have right now so until next time Love and baby dust!!!

Our Homestudy

On Saturday we had our four hour home study. When she said that it would last four hour before hand Stephen and I both thought there was no way possible that it would last for four hours. Well I can now say that we were totally wrong! It lasted a little over four house. I had been talking to her on the phone so I knew that she was really nice so I was not that worried. Honestly I was just ready to get it over with. She got there right at 10 am. After introducing ourselves we sat down out of kitchen table. She asked us questions as a couple such as
* Why do you want to adopt?
*When did you starting thinking about adoption?
*Which one of us brought up adoption?
Those were all easy for Stephen and I to answer because we have always talked about adopting even if we could have our own kids. We have always truly known that we wanted to adopt. After finishing the questions together she asked us questions about each of us. She asked us questions such as
* Where did you grow up?
*What was your childhood like?
*How does your family feel about the adoption?
After that we talked about discipline and how we will tell our children about their adoption. We also talked about a timeline. She said that our home study will be done most likely at the end of June. She will be done with her part and we still have a few More things to do. But we will mainly be waiting on our FBI prints to come back which can take 8 to 12 weeks. She also said the baby that we adopt is most likely already in the birth moms tummy. That is so exciting! She also said that we can go ahead and start looking at babies that are due at the end of June early July. That is so amazing that we could be parents by summer! We also talked about sex and race preference. Which was an easy conversation because we are open to either sex and any race. Just a note- it is important to let them know what because it has to say on your home study what sex and races you are willing to adopt.
Next she went over all of our paperwork that we had filled out. That part was easy because I put it a three ring binder with tab dividers that I put all our paperwork in.
Last but not least she went on a tour of our house. She made sure that we had a fire extinguisher, that all the smoke alarms were working, and then she looked at all of the rooms in our house. We had to show her what room was going to be the baby's room and what our plans were for that. We already have a crib so that is the only things that was in the room other than a few stuffed animals and a hat that My mom and I had bought :) I think that is pretty much all that happened.
Stephen and I are both super excited and talk about it all the time!!!
I also went to the book store yesterday and looked at a lot of adoption books. I ended up getting The Idiot's Guide to Adoption because to me it had the most helpful info in it :)
Well that is all I have for today. Until next time love and baby dust!

My Beautiful Sunflowers

After our homestudy my husband brought me home these beautiful sunflowers :) I am so lucky to be married to such a thoughtful and sweet man!

Our Big Home Study Tomorrow

Tomorrow at 10 a.m is our four hour home study interview. This week has been a crazy week getting ready for our home study. All I can say is Thank God it was spring break or I never could have gotten it all done. I had to get a lot of paperwork filled out which everywhere I went they looked at me like I was crazy and had no clue what I wanted. At this point almost all the paperwork is done but we are still waiting on a few things. We finally got everything around the house done with a lot of help from my Mom. Stacy also came and helped today which was so sweet of her. Thanks Stacy!!! As much as I did not enjoying doing all that we did around the house...it was all worth it because I am so happy with how everything turned out.
We have also decided to work with a local adoption consultant (who I will call C in my posts) instead of going with a large agency. Working with C. will allow us to see what a lot of adoption agencies have instead of just one. We are going out to dinner with her on Tuesday to talk about everything. I am super excited :) Well that is all for tonight. I have to get up early to make sure everything is perfect :) I will update as soon as it is over :) Until then Love and Baby Dust!!!

The Big Meeting with Dr. D

On Wednesday we had our big appointment with Dr. D. Stephen ended up not being able to get off so my Mom went with me so I had an extra set of ears. Dr. D said that after the doctors reviewed the data they decided that we should defiantly try IVF again. He felt like everything went really well over all and with a few changes he thinks it will be successful.
First we went over all the data. He let me know that next cycle we will start out with 3 bottles of bravelle and 1 bottle of menopur. He said since my body did way better when they upped the dose towards the end of my stim cycle and responded a lot better that is the way to go. He also said that out of the 22 eggs 13 were good, 6 were defective (can't remember the right word), and the 3 were immature. Next cycle he is going to add in one extra medicine just to try and get more healthy eggs. That means that hopefully there will not be 6 defective eggs. The next thing we talked about was Stephen. He is worried about his count dropping so we are going to start freezing sperm right away. Stephen stopped taking medicine 2 weeks ago that they think may cause his sperm count to drop. So hopefully that is what is doing it. We will find out in the next 2 months if going off the meds made a difference. He also said that his count on the day of my retrieval could have just been a fluke. (We would love for that to be the case).
Last I talked to Dr. D. about our plan just to see how he felt about it. We let him know that we are going to go ahead and adopt and go back to IVF next summer. He thought that was a great idea :) So that is what we are doing. I thought I would be sad talking about my failed IVF while we were there. But honestly I am so excited about adopting that it was much easier than I thought. So until next time Love and Baby Dust!!!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Well I have to say that I thought IVF was keeping me busy but starting the adoption process has been much more busy. Since we signed up to have our home study done, I have been busy working on the mounds of paper work that have to be completed. Today alone I went to the social security office (LOL to finally change my social to my married name), DFACS (to get a paper signed saying we are clear of child abuse, which after standing in line for an hour they had no clue how to help me), the 911 call center ( to get a paper signed saying that we don't call 911 all the time, which also did not go so well. They kept the paper and said they would call me when they were done.) and to the doctor to get a TB which is just one part of the long medical form. The DFACS office was a really hard place to be. There were a lot of people with a lot of kids that were so hateful to their kids. They just don't know how lucky they are to be able to have kids. The whole hour that I was standing I just kept thinking why can all these people have kids and we can't. I try not to think that like to often but it was hard not to in that situation. But then I go back to thinking about how excited we are about adopting.
We have also been really busy getting our house for our home study visit this coming Saturday. I am so excited to get it over with because we will be one step closer to getting our baby :)
We have also decide to go with a adoption consultant instead of an agency. We are suppose to meet her a day this week to starting talking about our options :) Can't wait! I will update soon! Until next time Love and Baby Dust!!!

Let Our Adoption Journey Begin!

Sorry it has been so long since I posted.....but wow my life has been really busy!! Since our failed IVF cycle we have had such unbelievable support from our family and friends. Stephen and I have been so touched by every ones love, prayer, and kind words.

Stephen and I have also been weighing all of our options for where to go with our journey next. We have had three amazing people offer to surrogate for us and we still have 1 IVF cycle left (maybe 2 if we have frozen eggs after this next cycle).We are still going to meet with Dr.D next Wednesday about what went wrong with our last IVF cycle. Even though we have decided to keep all those options in mind for the future we have decided to go ahead and start the adoption process. We have always wanted to adopt even if we could have our own children...so needless to say we are pumped! We are so excited for this journey to begin. This week I called a private home study agency to get the ball rolling. I was so excited because the lady I talked to was really sweet and gave me a lot of hope. Her and her husband are adoptive parents so she knows a lot about this process. For those of you that don't know, home studies are a very long and involved process that take 2-3 months to complete sometimes even more. But a home study has to be in place before you are able to adopt. Stephen and I started working on the large stack of paperwork yesterday. We have made a dent in it but we still have a lot more to go through. The lady from the home study agency will be here on April 10th for our house walk through and interview. She said that our meeting on April 10th will take about four hours. Thank God next week is spring break so I have plenty of time to get everything perfect :) We are also so fortunate to have a good friend of mine that is an adoption lawyer. I also spoke to her today to let her know that we had started the process. I will go more in to detail on my next post :) I have to go make cupcakes for school :)

Our First Embryos

Even though they didn't make it, our first embryos deserve to be seen on my blog. These are our 2 little embryos that were used during our first round of IVF. Sadly they only lived a few days. But believe it or not I loved these little bubbles and wished they would have made it.

Big Fat Negative

Well I just got the phone call from Dr. D that our first round of IVF was unsuccessful. Which was no surprise because I already knew that in my heart. I have bled,cramped, and been in so much pain over the past three days that I knew that it was not going to be good news. Honestly today I am just over it. I was really upset on Monday when I started the bleeding and cramping because I knew then it was not going to happen. Today I am just looking towards the future. Am I sad...of course. Am I disappointed....of course. Stephen and I are taking it one day at a time. We are getting through it together with the support of our wonderful friends and families.

So what is next for us? We have decided to do a couple of things.

1) Next week all the doctors will get together at the office and look at our information. They will look at all the data they have collected throughout this cycle. I have had a lot of problems with meds..etc so they will come up with solutions for that and come up with a plan for next time. We will go back and meet with Dr. D in two weeks.We are going to start our next IVF cycle at the end of this school year which is at the end of may. In the mean time we are going to start freezing Stephen's sperm and let my body go back to normal from all of this.

2) We are going to seriously start looking into adoption. We are going to start looking at different agencies and start getting our house ready for the home study.

I think that is pretty much all for now. Thanks again to all of you who read my blog for all the love and support! Until next time Love and Baby Dust!

No Change

Well today was another not so great day. I continued to bleed and cramp even worse today. I am ready to go to the doctor tomorrow to get this all over with. I am ready to get back to work and get my normal life back. I don't really have much more to say today. I promise I will update more tomorrow with what the blood tests say and what our next step is. Until then Love and Baby Dust!

More Shots, Cramping and Bleeding

Well today was another not so good day on this long journey know as IVF. Last night I continued to bleed and cramp all through the night. Today my cramping and bleeding continued to get worse. I called the doctor this afternoon and they told me to go ahead and come in. All of this bleeding and cramping just threw me right back to the time that I had my miscarriage. Once I got there he checked me with an exam and an ultrasound. During the exam he saw that almost all of my progesterone cream was gone. He keep asking me if I have been using my progesterone everyday which I have. (AGAIN this next part is TMI, so stop reading here if you want) But since I have been bleeding it has all been falling out....I know gross. During my ultrasound he said my lining was still thick which is good but that really means nothing. Overall, he said that things don't look really good but there could still be a small chance that I am pregnant. Before I left they gave me a progesterone oil shot in my muscle which was lovely and then he gave me a prescription for more progesterone oil. So that means I am back to getting shots everyday. He told me to just take it easy and we will see what my blood work says on Thursday. So I don't know much more this afternoon than I knew this morning. As hard as this all is, Stephen and I are just taking it one day at a time and getting through it together. It has made our marriage stronger than it already was. Thank you all so much for all the support and prayers! We love you all every much! So until next time Love and Baby Dust!

Way Past Implantation

Ok, so today has not been a great day. I woke up this morning with the same horrible headache I had last night. After I got to school I had to do my progesterone suppository at 9:30 as I do everyday. (Just to let you know the next bit of info may be TMI for some people, if so just don't read this post) When I did my progesterone suppository it came out with a tiny bit of blood on it. Shortly after that I had bad cramps, like AF cramps that are making my back hurt. I have only had a little bit more bleeding not much here and there through out the day. Of course I have been on the Internet to see if this is normal. Most people just have cramping during implantation which I had light cramps Wed-Fri which is when I should have implanted. I didn't have cramps all weekend and then they just started today. I also read a lot of post where people had light bleeding and cramping and were still pregnant but I also read the same thing where people were not pregnant. I am just so scared it didn't work and this is the beginning of my period. I just wish Thursday would come because I am ready to know something. This 2 week wait is killing me. I know, I know relax! That is so much easier said that done. Until next time Love and Baby Dust!

After I wrote this I went home and called the doctor. They said it was too early for my period but I just need to relax and take it easy. She said she hears a lot of people talking about cramping and the bleeding could be from the progesterone. It is still scary because it feel just like how I started my miscarriage last time. So I layed around this afternoon and I had to take yet another day off tomorrow. I was really enjoying being back at school but we have put a lot of time, money, and love in to this process, so I have to put it first.Please keep me in your prayers and pray that the cramping and spotting go away.

Couldn't Wait

So this afternoon Stephen and I got the bright idea that we were going to do a pregnancy test even though we are only 6 days post transfer. Yes we are idiots and Yes it is to early but wanting to know got the best of us. So needless to say the results were negative. Even though it is still so early it sucked to see those two horrible words not pregnant. So as I always do I turned to the Internet for comfort reading what other people had to say that did the same stupid thing :) This is what I found and thought it was really interesting so I decided I would post it. The days I am putting next to it are the days that it would be for us. If you are going through this fill your own days in.

This is for a day 5 Transfer, it is different for a day 3

(If we are pregnant this is what would be happening day by day)

The day before the transfer (Sun 3/14)- Embryo is growing and developing

Day of Transfer (Monday 3/15)- Embryo is now a blastocyst

1 Day Post Transfer (Tuesday 3/16) Blastocyst hatches out of shell

2 Days Post Transfer (Wednesday 3/17) Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining

3 Days Post Transfer (Thursday 3/18) Implantation begins, as the blastocyst beings to bury in the lining.

4 Days Post Transfer (Friday 3/19) Implantation Process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining.

5 Days Post Transfer (Saturday 3/20) Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells and fetal cells

6 Days Post Transfer (Sunday 3/21) Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood.

7 Days Post Transfer (Monday 3/22)More HCG is produced as the fetus develops

8 Days Post Transfer (Tuesday 3/23) More HCG is produced as the fetus develops

9 Days Post Transfer (Wednesday 3/24) HCG levels are now high enough to be detected on a Home Pregnancy Test.

So the moral of the story is no more pregnancy tests wasted until Wednesday! Until next time love and baby dust!

The Long Wait!

Well we are 4 days into the long wait...only 6 more days to go until we find out if it worked for us. The big day when I go in for my blood work is March 25th, first thing in the morning. But I will have to wait until later in the afternoon to find out. I know I can take a regular pregnancy test earlier than the 25th but I haven't decided if I am going to do that yet. I am so tired of them saying not pregnant that I just do not want to see those two horrible words again. As for how I am feeling, my stomach is finally feeling a little better. I am still eating a bland diet but I didn't take any Maalox today. I have had a few cramps (which is common with implantation) here and there but I don't not want to get my hopes up so I am trying to shrug them off. I am trying my best to be positive but it still feels like such a long shot that it will work. We have just been let down so many times it just feels so far away. I feel so lucky to have such a supportive husband who wants this to work just as much as I do. We have both had our weak moments through this process but that has only made our marriage stronger.
So for the next 6 days I will sit and wonder if we are pregnant or not. So until next time Love and Baby Dust!

Sadly No Snowbabies

Yesterday afternoon and today I have just been relaxing and hoping for sticky embryos :) Today the blastocyst should be breaking out of their shell and should start attaching tomorrow. I am praying that they do because the doctor called today to let us know that they were not able to freeze any of the embryos. For those of you that don't know frozen embryos are called snowbabies (in infertility talk). I am sad about that but I am just grateful that we had two eggs to transfer because that was the ultimate goal. Other than that I am still feeling pretty bad. My stomach still feels like it is on fire so my Mom is pretty sure I have gastritis from all the medicines I have been on. I have been on a bland diet for two days and taking Maalox on a schedule. Neither of those things are making much difference but I am hoping I will start feeling better soon! I am happy that I am finally returning to work tomorrow after a week off.

9 more days of waiting!
I will write again soon! Until then Love and Baby Dust!

Pictures from the Transfer

Pouring my baby dust in my hand.
Throwing my baby dust on my head

My empty bag of baby dust.

Drinking my 64 ounces of water.

My hope necklace my Mom got me.

My sweet husband and me in our hot outfits.

Us Again :)

My wonderful husband all ready for the transfer.

Trying to pass the time!

Love Him!

Transfer Day!

So today was the big day :) I got up bright and early to go to school to decorate for Lynn's birthday....which I would not have missed for the world :) After I left school I came home to get my husband up and gather everything I needed to go for our transfer. Before the transfer I had to drink 64 ounces of water and take 4 Advil. I was also supposed to take a Valium but my heartburn was so bad I skipped it. Since the beginning of this process I have had a little bag of baby dust that I have brought to every appointment. Once we arrived at the office today before going in I threw the baby dust all over me. Once we got to the office I continued to drink my water and waiting to get my blood work done. They were checking my estrogen and progesterone. The longer I sat in the waiting room the more uncomfortable I got. Not only did I have to go to the bathroom really bad but my ovaries are still sore which really hurt more because my bladder was full. After they finally took my blood work I went across the hall to where they were going to go the transfer. Stephen and I had to change into our operating room clothes. My transfer was supposed to be 10:15 but there someone in front of me. They ended up finally taking us back there a little after 11. I was hurting so bad I could hardly walk back there. Once we got back to the operating room the embryologist came in to show us the two embryos they were going to transfer again. We could tell clearly from the picture that one of the two was much bigger than the other. She explained the bigger one was a great looking blastocyst and the smaller one was still a little behind but developing. She also let us know sadly that three of the other embryos had stopped growing and that we had one left that they may be able to freeze. As much as I wanted to have some to freeze I just felt grateful that we had two healthy embryos for transfer today because that was our ultimate goal. After seeing the pictures of our hopefully future babies the doctor did the transfer. I had heard it didn't hurt at all but I was in a lot of pain because I had to use the bathroom so bad. After it was finally over I had to lie there for 5 minutes. When the nurse came back in and said I could go to the restroom, I thought I was going to cry I was so happy. After getting dressed we got to go home. So for now I am on bed rest praying for sticky eggs. I am also praying to feel better because the Medrol really did a number on my stomach so I am still having awful heartburn and my stomach feels like it is on fire. My Mom put me on a bland diet so hopefully that will help. That is all for now, the long wait begins. I will scan the picture of our embryos tomorrow. So until then Love and Baby Dust!

Pushed to Day 5

Bright and early this morning my phone rang. It was from a number I know very well...the doctors office. They called to let me know that they were pushing my transfer from a day 3 to a day 5. That was really great news to us. They do day 5 transfers for a few reasons but the main one is that all the embryos look good and they can't tell which two are the best. At day 5 they are blastocysts . A blastocyst is a highly developed embryo that has divided many times and is at the point where it is nearly ready to attach to the uterus wall. There are good and bad things about waiting till day 5. The good things are that the embryo is much more developed and you have a better chance for success. The only bad thing is that they do not freeze well. I am fine with that and am more than happy to do a day 5 transfer. Many of the blogs I have been reading, pray for a day 5 transfer. The other good thing is that I will only have to wait 10 days instead of 15 to know if it worked. Oh, and I only have to go to the doctor's office on the 25th and not the 18th and the 25th.

So what all this means is that out transfer will be on Monday at 11:15, which means I have to be there at 10:45. I was really sad at first because I thought I was going to miss Lynn's 30th birthday at school. But my transfer is so late I am going to get to go in for a little bit for her birthday and to see my babies:) That is all for today so until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!

My Beautiful Tulips

My Beautiful tulips my husband got me after my egg retrieval.

Allergic Reactions

I was so excited to think that I had a two day break from going to the doctor. But my two day break was short lived when I had to go to the doctor bright and early this morning because of an allergic reaction. Yesterday I started taking Estrace which is a estrogen pill. About an hour after I took the pill I felt like my whole body was on fire. My face was red and inflamed. My Mom kept telling me it was probably the hormones from all the shots leaving my body but it continued to get worse as the day went on. I called the emergency number because I was supposed to take another pill with dinner but I was scared to because of my reaction with the first pill. The Doctor called me back and told me to go into the office the next day so they could change my medicine. Once I got to the doctor I showed them pictures from what my face looked like the night before. They were surprised because people normally don't have that reaction. They ended up putting me on an estrogen patch. Which I am happy about because instead of taking 2 pills a day. I just have to put the patch on every Tuesday and Friday.
I am worried about the 6 embryos because many times all 6 will not make it to transfer and I really want to have some to freeze. But I keep telling myself if we have two healthy eggs for the transfer tomorrow then we are lucky. I was reading so many blogs where after people had their retrieval, none of the eggs fertilized. I know now that I am so lucky to have 6. The nurses at the office told me that 6 is a great number. I have always hated the number six but my Mom said after tomorrow I may start to love the number 6 :)I keep telling myself that it only takes 1. Just one little healthy embryo could be Stephen and my dream come true.

During my massage toady the doctor's office called to say that they had to change the time of my transfer from 10:15 to 11:00. I will feel much better after I know how many embryos made it I will be able to breath a sigh of relief!

I think that is all for now. So until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!!!

Fertilization Report Not Great- Down to 6

After a very long night of waiting for the fertilization report, the Dr. called at 9:25 this morning. As you know yesterday day we started with 22 eggs. Then this morning when the doctor called he said that out of the 22 only 13 were mature and only 6 fertilized. So is it as high as we hoped no. But I have to look on the positive side that we have 6 little embryos that could hopefully be our children. Right now we are still set for a day 3 transfer which is suppose to take place Saturday at 10:15. So for right how I am hoping and praying that all 6 of our little embryos make it. If so we will use 2 on Saturday and hopefully be able to freeze the other 4.
The doctor also said he is really worried about Stephen's count. But he did say he did research on a medicine takes that can dramatically reduce sperm count. So I made Stephen an appointment with his doctor so he can tell him the safe way to go off of it.
Other than that I had to start three new medications today. Estrace which is estrogen and I have to take that in the morning and at night. Baby Aspirin once a day to keep the lining of my uterus thick. Crinone which is a progesterone suppository (better than the shot!)
That is pretty much all for now Love and Baby Dust!

22 Beautiful Little Eggs

Today was the biggest and most important day so far in my journey of IVF. Today was my egg retrieval day. I got up this morning to a very rainy and nasty day. Lynn texted me and said that since rain is lucky on wedding days then it must be lucky on egg retrieval day :) We got there right at 7:15. While sitting in the waiting room my Mom, Stephen, and I were guessing how many eggs I would have. Stephen guessed 30, my Mom guessed 24, and I guessed 22. After waiting in the waiting room they took me right back. My Mom had to wait in the waiting room and Stephen got to back with me. Once I got back there they had me put on my lovely hospital gown, booties, and cap. Next, the nurse put my IV in. Then the anesthesiologist came in to introduced himself, I liked him a lot he was a really nice guy. There is a picture of us below. Next Dr.F came in to see if I had any questions, which I didn't since I had read so much online. Shortly after that the nurse came to take me back to the operating room. I was teary eyed just because I hate being put to sleep but all the nurses were so sweet. They made me feel completely comfortable. After that I went right to sleep. The whole retrieval took a totally of 10-15 mins. The next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room. I was crampy but they gave me a heated bottle that made me feel a lot better. I also had a really bad taste in my mouth, which didn't go away till way later. Dr. F came in to let me know that she was able to get 22 eggs. Dr. F and I were both really happy with that number :) Once I started feeling like myself again they let me go home. Once I got home I was still a little crampy, so I layed in bed happily surrounded by my dogs with a heating pad.

About an hour after we got home my phone rang. It was one of the nurses that works in the lab. I thought she was just calling with an update but she was calling to let me know that Stephen had to come back in because his sperm count was really low. This was scary and shocking news. Stephen left right away to go back to the doctors office. While we know that his count is not normally that great it was never a concern that there would not be enough. Once Stephen got home and we talked about it the only thing we could think of is that they have had him on a steroid inhaler because he has been so sick. The horrible part is that I called back around 3:30 today to see how the second sample was and they told me that the doctor was already gone and we had to wait until tomorrow. So here we sit worrying about if they were able to fertilize the eggs or not. We figured that if the news was bad they would have called us or that is what I am going to keep telling myself. It is going to be a very long night! But thankfully I am feeling pretty good, I am a tiny bit sore but that is all. So until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust.

At home after my surgery with my sweet nurses.

Pre-op Today and Tomorrow's the Big Day!

I got up bright and early again this morning to make the trek to the doctors office for my pre-op appointment and of course more blood work :) The pre-op went well I signed all my paper and got all the instructions that I needed for the night before my egg retrieval, the day of my egg retrieval , my transfer, and the rest of my appointments.
Of course I am nervous about tomorrow but I am so ready to get this crazy process over with. Tomorrow morning I have to be there at 7:15 and my surgery will start at 8. I was very happy to find out that Dr.F the nice lady doctor I saw this weekend is doing the egg retrieval. I also got a phone call from the anesthesiologist who is putting me to sleep. He was very nice which also calmed my nerves.
I also just wanted to say thank you to everyone for all their thoughts, prayers, love and kind words. It means the world to me and it is truly helping me get through this challenging journey.
I also wanted to share what my wonderful husband posted on facebook tonight because it is so sweet and shows what a great man he truly is.
" Tomorrow is the big day. There's not much I've wanted in my life more than this to work. I'm not a religious man, but I am praying".
I think that is all for tonight, until tomorrow Love and baby dust!!!

Trigger Shot Equalled Stress

Wow, that 20 minutes was the most stressful 20 minutes I have had through this whole process. So during my shot the teach the nurse stressed how important the trigger shot is and how important it is not to mess it up.

Since I had to have my shot at 9:00 I went downstairs at 8:45 to get everything ready. The HCG consists of two vials. One that is liquid and one that is powder. I started off well putting the right amount of liquid into the powder. But then no matter what I tried I could not get all the liquid out of the vial. Then I had air in my needle so when I tried to get it out a little shot in the air. So there I stood teary eyed because it was not all just right, like I knew it needed to be. At 9:05 I finally gave myself my shot with all the liquid that I could possible get in there. All I can do now is hope that I did it right :( I will find out tomorrow because they do blood work to make sure it in my system. So again until next time love and baby dust!

Day 11 Stim Appointment/My Eggs are Ready :)

I went to the doctor again this morning and of course had another ultrasound and blood work done. Today I saw Dr. T who I have seen a few times before when I was going through my IUIs. Yesterday when they did the ultrasound I had about 15 mature follicles/eggs but still had about 10 that had a little further to go. Today at the ultrasound all but one of my follicles/eggs were mature :) That was great news to me! That means I am officially done with my Lupron, Bravelle and Menopur shots. But tonight I have one last shot which is the most important shot of them all, my trigger shot. The trigger shot is an HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) shot which makes the follicles go into their last stage of maturation. The trigger shot is given exactly 36 hours before the egg retrieval surgery. Today they let me know that my egg retrieval is officially Wednesday March 10th which means I have to do my trigger shot at 9pm tonight. I also found of that the girl Doctor I like Dr. F is the one that is suppose to do the surgery. I still have to go to the doctor tomorrow to make sure that the trigger shot is working and get to all my pre-op instructions. I will update a little later tonight about how my trigger shot went. So Until then love and baby dust!

15 Mature Today but....../Day 10 Stim Appointment

Stephen and I got up bright and early again to go to the doctor. Today was our stimulation day 10 appointment which means of course another ultrasound and more blood work. My poor arms are all bruised but hopefully it will all be worth it. Dr. F did my ultrasound again today. She was happy to see that more follicles/eggs had matured over night but she was not happy with what my E2 levels were yesterday which was 990. I found out through reading that for every mature egg your E2 will be 100. Which means yesterday I only had almost 10 mature eggs. During my ultrasound today I could tell the follicles had gotten bigger from my ovaries being very tender and from the measurements she was calling out. The sizes were all over the place ranging from 10mm to 20mm. Really you want them to be closer together in size but that is just not happening with me. Also my lining was at 11mm which she said looked perfect. At the end of my appointment Dr.F said things were looking good but she might make me do one more day of stim medicines depending on what my E2 levels were like.
When the nurse called this afternoon she said that my E2 levels have gone up from 990 to 1550. Which means I have 15 mature eggs. She said that was great but Dr.F wants me to do the higher dose of stimulation meds again tonight. That means I will do 3 vials of Bravelle, 1 vial of menapur, and 5cc of Lupron (Thank God the office had a emergency supply because I only had one vial of Bravelle left).So that means the schedule should be the following;
Sunday-3/7- One more night of Stimulation meds and Lupron.
Monday-3/8- Back to the doctor bright and early for another ultrasound and blood work. Hopefully my trigger shot will be this night.
Tuesday- 3/9- Not sure if I will have to go to the Dr. again, I am assuming I will but I will have a break from all the meds.
Wednesday-3/10- Egg Retrieval Day
Saturday 3/13 or Monday 3/15- They will put the fertilized eggs back in one of these 2 days. Praying for Saturday because I would hate to miss Lynn's birthday on Monday!!

That is all my news for now so until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!

Pictures from Day 9 Stim Appointment

Stephen and I waiting on the doctor
Me in my Lovely Paper Sheet waiting on my ultrasound