Let Our Adoption Journey Begin!

Sorry it has been so long since I posted.....but wow my life has been really busy!! Since our failed IVF cycle we have had such unbelievable support from our family and friends. Stephen and I have been so touched by every ones love, prayer, and kind words.

Stephen and I have also been weighing all of our options for where to go with our journey next. We have had three amazing people offer to surrogate for us and we still have 1 IVF cycle left (maybe 2 if we have frozen eggs after this next cycle).We are still going to meet with Dr.D next Wednesday about what went wrong with our last IVF cycle. Even though we have decided to keep all those options in mind for the future we have decided to go ahead and start the adoption process. We have always wanted to adopt even if we could have our own children...so needless to say we are pumped! We are so excited for this journey to begin. This week I called a private home study agency to get the ball rolling. I was so excited because the lady I talked to was really sweet and gave me a lot of hope. Her and her husband are adoptive parents so she knows a lot about this process. For those of you that don't know, home studies are a very long and involved process that take 2-3 months to complete sometimes even more. But a home study has to be in place before you are able to adopt. Stephen and I started working on the large stack of paperwork yesterday. We have made a dent in it but we still have a lot more to go through. The lady from the home study agency will be here on April 10th for our house walk through and interview. She said that our meeting on April 10th will take about four hours. Thank God next week is spring break so I have plenty of time to get everything perfect :) We are also so fortunate to have a good friend of mine that is an adoption lawyer. I also spoke to her today to let her know that we had started the process. I will go more in to detail on my next post :) I have to go make cupcakes for school :)

Our First Embryos

Even though they didn't make it, our first embryos deserve to be seen on my blog. These are our 2 little embryos that were used during our first round of IVF. Sadly they only lived a few days. But believe it or not I loved these little bubbles and wished they would have made it.

Big Fat Negative

Well I just got the phone call from Dr. D that our first round of IVF was unsuccessful. Which was no surprise because I already knew that in my heart. I have bled,cramped, and been in so much pain over the past three days that I knew that it was not going to be good news. Honestly today I am just over it. I was really upset on Monday when I started the bleeding and cramping because I knew then it was not going to happen. Today I am just looking towards the future. Am I sad...of course. Am I disappointed....of course. Stephen and I are taking it one day at a time. We are getting through it together with the support of our wonderful friends and families.

So what is next for us? We have decided to do a couple of things.

1) Next week all the doctors will get together at the office and look at our information. They will look at all the data they have collected throughout this cycle. I have had a lot of problems with meds..etc so they will come up with solutions for that and come up with a plan for next time. We will go back and meet with Dr. D in two weeks.We are going to start our next IVF cycle at the end of this school year which is at the end of may. In the mean time we are going to start freezing Stephen's sperm and let my body go back to normal from all of this.

2) We are going to seriously start looking into adoption. We are going to start looking at different agencies and start getting our house ready for the home study.

I think that is pretty much all for now. Thanks again to all of you who read my blog for all the love and support! Until next time Love and Baby Dust!

No Change

Well today was another not so great day. I continued to bleed and cramp even worse today. I am ready to go to the doctor tomorrow to get this all over with. I am ready to get back to work and get my normal life back. I don't really have much more to say today. I promise I will update more tomorrow with what the blood tests say and what our next step is. Until then Love and Baby Dust!

More Shots, Cramping and Bleeding

Well today was another not so good day on this long journey know as IVF. Last night I continued to bleed and cramp all through the night. Today my cramping and bleeding continued to get worse. I called the doctor this afternoon and they told me to go ahead and come in. All of this bleeding and cramping just threw me right back to the time that I had my miscarriage. Once I got there he checked me with an exam and an ultrasound. During the exam he saw that almost all of my progesterone cream was gone. He keep asking me if I have been using my progesterone everyday which I have. (AGAIN this next part is TMI, so stop reading here if you want) But since I have been bleeding it has all been falling out....I know gross. During my ultrasound he said my lining was still thick which is good but that really means nothing. Overall, he said that things don't look really good but there could still be a small chance that I am pregnant. Before I left they gave me a progesterone oil shot in my muscle which was lovely and then he gave me a prescription for more progesterone oil. So that means I am back to getting shots everyday. He told me to just take it easy and we will see what my blood work says on Thursday. So I don't know much more this afternoon than I knew this morning. As hard as this all is, Stephen and I are just taking it one day at a time and getting through it together. It has made our marriage stronger than it already was. Thank you all so much for all the support and prayers! We love you all every much! So until next time Love and Baby Dust!

Way Past Implantation

Ok, so today has not been a great day. I woke up this morning with the same horrible headache I had last night. After I got to school I had to do my progesterone suppository at 9:30 as I do everyday. (Just to let you know the next bit of info may be TMI for some people, if so just don't read this post) When I did my progesterone suppository it came out with a tiny bit of blood on it. Shortly after that I had bad cramps, like AF cramps that are making my back hurt. I have only had a little bit more bleeding not much here and there through out the day. Of course I have been on the Internet to see if this is normal. Most people just have cramping during implantation which I had light cramps Wed-Fri which is when I should have implanted. I didn't have cramps all weekend and then they just started today. I also read a lot of post where people had light bleeding and cramping and were still pregnant but I also read the same thing where people were not pregnant. I am just so scared it didn't work and this is the beginning of my period. I just wish Thursday would come because I am ready to know something. This 2 week wait is killing me. I know, I know relax! That is so much easier said that done. Until next time Love and Baby Dust!

After I wrote this I went home and called the doctor. They said it was too early for my period but I just need to relax and take it easy. She said she hears a lot of people talking about cramping and the bleeding could be from the progesterone. It is still scary because it feel just like how I started my miscarriage last time. So I layed around this afternoon and I had to take yet another day off tomorrow. I was really enjoying being back at school but we have put a lot of time, money, and love in to this process, so I have to put it first.Please keep me in your prayers and pray that the cramping and spotting go away.

Couldn't Wait

So this afternoon Stephen and I got the bright idea that we were going to do a pregnancy test even though we are only 6 days post transfer. Yes we are idiots and Yes it is to early but wanting to know got the best of us. So needless to say the results were negative. Even though it is still so early it sucked to see those two horrible words not pregnant. So as I always do I turned to the Internet for comfort reading what other people had to say that did the same stupid thing :) This is what I found and thought it was really interesting so I decided I would post it. The days I am putting next to it are the days that it would be for us. If you are going through this fill your own days in.

This is for a day 5 Transfer, it is different for a day 3

(If we are pregnant this is what would be happening day by day)

The day before the transfer (Sun 3/14)- Embryo is growing and developing

Day of Transfer (Monday 3/15)- Embryo is now a blastocyst

1 Day Post Transfer (Tuesday 3/16) Blastocyst hatches out of shell

2 Days Post Transfer (Wednesday 3/17) Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining

3 Days Post Transfer (Thursday 3/18) Implantation begins, as the blastocyst beings to bury in the lining.

4 Days Post Transfer (Friday 3/19) Implantation Process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining.

5 Days Post Transfer (Saturday 3/20) Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells and fetal cells

6 Days Post Transfer (Sunday 3/21) Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood.

7 Days Post Transfer (Monday 3/22)More HCG is produced as the fetus develops

8 Days Post Transfer (Tuesday 3/23) More HCG is produced as the fetus develops

9 Days Post Transfer (Wednesday 3/24) HCG levels are now high enough to be detected on a Home Pregnancy Test.

So the moral of the story is no more pregnancy tests wasted until Wednesday! Until next time love and baby dust!

The Long Wait!

Well we are 4 days into the long wait...only 6 more days to go until we find out if it worked for us. The big day when I go in for my blood work is March 25th, first thing in the morning. But I will have to wait until later in the afternoon to find out. I know I can take a regular pregnancy test earlier than the 25th but I haven't decided if I am going to do that yet. I am so tired of them saying not pregnant that I just do not want to see those two horrible words again. As for how I am feeling, my stomach is finally feeling a little better. I am still eating a bland diet but I didn't take any Maalox today. I have had a few cramps (which is common with implantation) here and there but I don't not want to get my hopes up so I am trying to shrug them off. I am trying my best to be positive but it still feels like such a long shot that it will work. We have just been let down so many times it just feels so far away. I feel so lucky to have such a supportive husband who wants this to work just as much as I do. We have both had our weak moments through this process but that has only made our marriage stronger.
So for the next 6 days I will sit and wonder if we are pregnant or not. So until next time Love and Baby Dust!

Sadly No Snowbabies

Yesterday afternoon and today I have just been relaxing and hoping for sticky embryos :) Today the blastocyst should be breaking out of their shell and should start attaching tomorrow. I am praying that they do because the doctor called today to let us know that they were not able to freeze any of the embryos. For those of you that don't know frozen embryos are called snowbabies (in infertility talk). I am sad about that but I am just grateful that we had two eggs to transfer because that was the ultimate goal. Other than that I am still feeling pretty bad. My stomach still feels like it is on fire so my Mom is pretty sure I have gastritis from all the medicines I have been on. I have been on a bland diet for two days and taking Maalox on a schedule. Neither of those things are making much difference but I am hoping I will start feeling better soon! I am happy that I am finally returning to work tomorrow after a week off.

9 more days of waiting!
I will write again soon! Until then Love and Baby Dust!

Pictures from the Transfer

Pouring my baby dust in my hand.
Throwing my baby dust on my head

My empty bag of baby dust.

Drinking my 64 ounces of water.

My hope necklace my Mom got me.

My sweet husband and me in our hot outfits.

Us Again :)

My wonderful husband all ready for the transfer.

Trying to pass the time!

Love Him!

Transfer Day!

So today was the big day :) I got up bright and early to go to school to decorate for Lynn's birthday....which I would not have missed for the world :) After I left school I came home to get my husband up and gather everything I needed to go for our transfer. Before the transfer I had to drink 64 ounces of water and take 4 Advil. I was also supposed to take a Valium but my heartburn was so bad I skipped it. Since the beginning of this process I have had a little bag of baby dust that I have brought to every appointment. Once we arrived at the office today before going in I threw the baby dust all over me. Once we got to the office I continued to drink my water and waiting to get my blood work done. They were checking my estrogen and progesterone. The longer I sat in the waiting room the more uncomfortable I got. Not only did I have to go to the bathroom really bad but my ovaries are still sore which really hurt more because my bladder was full. After they finally took my blood work I went across the hall to where they were going to go the transfer. Stephen and I had to change into our operating room clothes. My transfer was supposed to be 10:15 but there someone in front of me. They ended up finally taking us back there a little after 11. I was hurting so bad I could hardly walk back there. Once we got back to the operating room the embryologist came in to show us the two embryos they were going to transfer again. We could tell clearly from the picture that one of the two was much bigger than the other. She explained the bigger one was a great looking blastocyst and the smaller one was still a little behind but developing. She also let us know sadly that three of the other embryos had stopped growing and that we had one left that they may be able to freeze. As much as I wanted to have some to freeze I just felt grateful that we had two healthy embryos for transfer today because that was our ultimate goal. After seeing the pictures of our hopefully future babies the doctor did the transfer. I had heard it didn't hurt at all but I was in a lot of pain because I had to use the bathroom so bad. After it was finally over I had to lie there for 5 minutes. When the nurse came back in and said I could go to the restroom, I thought I was going to cry I was so happy. After getting dressed we got to go home. So for now I am on bed rest praying for sticky eggs. I am also praying to feel better because the Medrol really did a number on my stomach so I am still having awful heartburn and my stomach feels like it is on fire. My Mom put me on a bland diet so hopefully that will help. That is all for now, the long wait begins. I will scan the picture of our embryos tomorrow. So until then Love and Baby Dust!

Pushed to Day 5

Bright and early this morning my phone rang. It was from a number I know very well...the doctors office. They called to let me know that they were pushing my transfer from a day 3 to a day 5. That was really great news to us. They do day 5 transfers for a few reasons but the main one is that all the embryos look good and they can't tell which two are the best. At day 5 they are blastocysts . A blastocyst is a highly developed embryo that has divided many times and is at the point where it is nearly ready to attach to the uterus wall. There are good and bad things about waiting till day 5. The good things are that the embryo is much more developed and you have a better chance for success. The only bad thing is that they do not freeze well. I am fine with that and am more than happy to do a day 5 transfer. Many of the blogs I have been reading, pray for a day 5 transfer. The other good thing is that I will only have to wait 10 days instead of 15 to know if it worked. Oh, and I only have to go to the doctor's office on the 25th and not the 18th and the 25th.

So what all this means is that out transfer will be on Monday at 11:15, which means I have to be there at 10:45. I was really sad at first because I thought I was going to miss Lynn's 30th birthday at school. But my transfer is so late I am going to get to go in for a little bit for her birthday and to see my babies:) That is all for today so until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!

My Beautiful Tulips

My Beautiful tulips my husband got me after my egg retrieval.

Allergic Reactions

I was so excited to think that I had a two day break from going to the doctor. But my two day break was short lived when I had to go to the doctor bright and early this morning because of an allergic reaction. Yesterday I started taking Estrace which is a estrogen pill. About an hour after I took the pill I felt like my whole body was on fire. My face was red and inflamed. My Mom kept telling me it was probably the hormones from all the shots leaving my body but it continued to get worse as the day went on. I called the emergency number because I was supposed to take another pill with dinner but I was scared to because of my reaction with the first pill. The Doctor called me back and told me to go into the office the next day so they could change my medicine. Once I got to the doctor I showed them pictures from what my face looked like the night before. They were surprised because people normally don't have that reaction. They ended up putting me on an estrogen patch. Which I am happy about because instead of taking 2 pills a day. I just have to put the patch on every Tuesday and Friday.
I am worried about the 6 embryos because many times all 6 will not make it to transfer and I really want to have some to freeze. But I keep telling myself if we have two healthy eggs for the transfer tomorrow then we are lucky. I was reading so many blogs where after people had their retrieval, none of the eggs fertilized. I know now that I am so lucky to have 6. The nurses at the office told me that 6 is a great number. I have always hated the number six but my Mom said after tomorrow I may start to love the number 6 :)I keep telling myself that it only takes 1. Just one little healthy embryo could be Stephen and my dream come true.

During my massage toady the doctor's office called to say that they had to change the time of my transfer from 10:15 to 11:00. I will feel much better after I know how many embryos made it I will be able to breath a sigh of relief!

I think that is all for now. So until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!!!

Fertilization Report Not Great- Down to 6

After a very long night of waiting for the fertilization report, the Dr. called at 9:25 this morning. As you know yesterday day we started with 22 eggs. Then this morning when the doctor called he said that out of the 22 only 13 were mature and only 6 fertilized. So is it as high as we hoped no. But I have to look on the positive side that we have 6 little embryos that could hopefully be our children. Right now we are still set for a day 3 transfer which is suppose to take place Saturday at 10:15. So for right how I am hoping and praying that all 6 of our little embryos make it. If so we will use 2 on Saturday and hopefully be able to freeze the other 4.
The doctor also said he is really worried about Stephen's count. But he did say he did research on a medicine takes that can dramatically reduce sperm count. So I made Stephen an appointment with his doctor so he can tell him the safe way to go off of it.
Other than that I had to start three new medications today. Estrace which is estrogen and I have to take that in the morning and at night. Baby Aspirin once a day to keep the lining of my uterus thick. Crinone which is a progesterone suppository (better than the shot!)
That is pretty much all for now Love and Baby Dust!

22 Beautiful Little Eggs

Today was the biggest and most important day so far in my journey of IVF. Today was my egg retrieval day. I got up this morning to a very rainy and nasty day. Lynn texted me and said that since rain is lucky on wedding days then it must be lucky on egg retrieval day :) We got there right at 7:15. While sitting in the waiting room my Mom, Stephen, and I were guessing how many eggs I would have. Stephen guessed 30, my Mom guessed 24, and I guessed 22. After waiting in the waiting room they took me right back. My Mom had to wait in the waiting room and Stephen got to back with me. Once I got back there they had me put on my lovely hospital gown, booties, and cap. Next, the nurse put my IV in. Then the anesthesiologist came in to introduced himself, I liked him a lot he was a really nice guy. There is a picture of us below. Next Dr.F came in to see if I had any questions, which I didn't since I had read so much online. Shortly after that the nurse came to take me back to the operating room. I was teary eyed just because I hate being put to sleep but all the nurses were so sweet. They made me feel completely comfortable. After that I went right to sleep. The whole retrieval took a totally of 10-15 mins. The next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room. I was crampy but they gave me a heated bottle that made me feel a lot better. I also had a really bad taste in my mouth, which didn't go away till way later. Dr. F came in to let me know that she was able to get 22 eggs. Dr. F and I were both really happy with that number :) Once I started feeling like myself again they let me go home. Once I got home I was still a little crampy, so I layed in bed happily surrounded by my dogs with a heating pad.

About an hour after we got home my phone rang. It was one of the nurses that works in the lab. I thought she was just calling with an update but she was calling to let me know that Stephen had to come back in because his sperm count was really low. This was scary and shocking news. Stephen left right away to go back to the doctors office. While we know that his count is not normally that great it was never a concern that there would not be enough. Once Stephen got home and we talked about it the only thing we could think of is that they have had him on a steroid inhaler because he has been so sick. The horrible part is that I called back around 3:30 today to see how the second sample was and they told me that the doctor was already gone and we had to wait until tomorrow. So here we sit worrying about if they were able to fertilize the eggs or not. We figured that if the news was bad they would have called us or that is what I am going to keep telling myself. It is going to be a very long night! But thankfully I am feeling pretty good, I am a tiny bit sore but that is all. So until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust.

At home after my surgery with my sweet nurses.

Pre-op Today and Tomorrow's the Big Day!

I got up bright and early again this morning to make the trek to the doctors office for my pre-op appointment and of course more blood work :) The pre-op went well I signed all my paper and got all the instructions that I needed for the night before my egg retrieval, the day of my egg retrieval , my transfer, and the rest of my appointments.
Of course I am nervous about tomorrow but I am so ready to get this crazy process over with. Tomorrow morning I have to be there at 7:15 and my surgery will start at 8. I was very happy to find out that Dr.F the nice lady doctor I saw this weekend is doing the egg retrieval. I also got a phone call from the anesthesiologist who is putting me to sleep. He was very nice which also calmed my nerves.
I also just wanted to say thank you to everyone for all their thoughts, prayers, love and kind words. It means the world to me and it is truly helping me get through this challenging journey.
I also wanted to share what my wonderful husband posted on facebook tonight because it is so sweet and shows what a great man he truly is.
" Tomorrow is the big day. There's not much I've wanted in my life more than this to work. I'm not a religious man, but I am praying".
I think that is all for tonight, until tomorrow Love and baby dust!!!

Trigger Shot Equalled Stress

Wow, that 20 minutes was the most stressful 20 minutes I have had through this whole process. So during my shot the teach the nurse stressed how important the trigger shot is and how important it is not to mess it up.

Since I had to have my shot at 9:00 I went downstairs at 8:45 to get everything ready. The HCG consists of two vials. One that is liquid and one that is powder. I started off well putting the right amount of liquid into the powder. But then no matter what I tried I could not get all the liquid out of the vial. Then I had air in my needle so when I tried to get it out a little shot in the air. So there I stood teary eyed because it was not all just right, like I knew it needed to be. At 9:05 I finally gave myself my shot with all the liquid that I could possible get in there. All I can do now is hope that I did it right :( I will find out tomorrow because they do blood work to make sure it in my system. So again until next time love and baby dust!

Day 11 Stim Appointment/My Eggs are Ready :)

I went to the doctor again this morning and of course had another ultrasound and blood work done. Today I saw Dr. T who I have seen a few times before when I was going through my IUIs. Yesterday when they did the ultrasound I had about 15 mature follicles/eggs but still had about 10 that had a little further to go. Today at the ultrasound all but one of my follicles/eggs were mature :) That was great news to me! That means I am officially done with my Lupron, Bravelle and Menopur shots. But tonight I have one last shot which is the most important shot of them all, my trigger shot. The trigger shot is an HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) shot which makes the follicles go into their last stage of maturation. The trigger shot is given exactly 36 hours before the egg retrieval surgery. Today they let me know that my egg retrieval is officially Wednesday March 10th which means I have to do my trigger shot at 9pm tonight. I also found of that the girl Doctor I like Dr. F is the one that is suppose to do the surgery. I still have to go to the doctor tomorrow to make sure that the trigger shot is working and get to all my pre-op instructions. I will update a little later tonight about how my trigger shot went. So Until then love and baby dust!

15 Mature Today but....../Day 10 Stim Appointment

Stephen and I got up bright and early again to go to the doctor. Today was our stimulation day 10 appointment which means of course another ultrasound and more blood work. My poor arms are all bruised but hopefully it will all be worth it. Dr. F did my ultrasound again today. She was happy to see that more follicles/eggs had matured over night but she was not happy with what my E2 levels were yesterday which was 990. I found out through reading that for every mature egg your E2 will be 100. Which means yesterday I only had almost 10 mature eggs. During my ultrasound today I could tell the follicles had gotten bigger from my ovaries being very tender and from the measurements she was calling out. The sizes were all over the place ranging from 10mm to 20mm. Really you want them to be closer together in size but that is just not happening with me. Also my lining was at 11mm which she said looked perfect. At the end of my appointment Dr.F said things were looking good but she might make me do one more day of stim medicines depending on what my E2 levels were like.
When the nurse called this afternoon she said that my E2 levels have gone up from 990 to 1550. Which means I have 15 mature eggs. She said that was great but Dr.F wants me to do the higher dose of stimulation meds again tonight. That means I will do 3 vials of Bravelle, 1 vial of menapur, and 5cc of Lupron (Thank God the office had a emergency supply because I only had one vial of Bravelle left).So that means the schedule should be the following;
Sunday-3/7- One more night of Stimulation meds and Lupron.
Monday-3/8- Back to the doctor bright and early for another ultrasound and blood work. Hopefully my trigger shot will be this night.
Tuesday- 3/9- Not sure if I will have to go to the Dr. again, I am assuming I will but I will have a break from all the meds.
Wednesday-3/10- Egg Retrieval Day
Saturday 3/13 or Monday 3/15- They will put the fertilized eggs back in one of these 2 days. Praying for Saturday because I would hate to miss Lynn's birthday on Monday!!

That is all my news for now so until tomorrow Love and Baby Dust!

Pictures from Day 9 Stim Appointment

Stephen and I waiting on the doctor
Me in my Lovely Paper Sheet waiting on my ultrasound

10 Mature Hopefully More to Come/ Day 9 Stim Appointment

Even though it is Saturday I still had to be at the doctor bright and early this morning. Since it was the weekend I had to go to the main location which I have never been to and I had to see a new doctor. It was a fun appointment because Stephen went and he was making me laugh as usual. Today I saw Dr.F, she was a young happy pregnant woman who was very sweet. During my ultrasound she found a total of about 25 Follicles/eggs. But as of today only 10 of them are mature. To be mature they have be at least 15mm because if they are not 15 mm they do not have eggs in them yet. Dr.F said that with one more day of stim shots then a lot more should be mature by tomorrow.Which means that I would get my trigger shot tomorrow night and egg retrival Tuesday as planned. When the nurse called this afternoon with my blood work results she said that my E2 level was in the high 900s(I was taking a nap, so I can't remember the exact number) and that Dr.F want me to add one more vial of Bravelle to my shots tonight. I am sure that they want me to add because the ones that are mature can't go much longer and they really want me to have more mature than that before retrial. So overall the appointment went well. I have another appointment tomorrow in the morning. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a lot more mature follicles/eggs. Until then Love and Baby Dust!

The Three Amigos/ Day 8 Stim Appointment

Today was my appointment for stim day 8.It was another great appointment. My Mom went with me and was so excited to see all of my eggs getting bigger by the day. During my ultrasound the doctor said that she could see at least 8 eggs/follicles on each side. She found one follicle that was 18mm, one that was 16mm, a few that were 15mm, and many that were 12mm. She said that after a few more days the 12mm ones should catch up with the others. She also said that the lining of my uterus looked great and was ahead of the game at 11mm. She gave me a few great pictures for my blog which I was super excited about.

Picture 1- My right ovary- All of the dark spots are my follicles which contain the eggs. This is just from one side so you can only see 4 or 5 follicles. The one on the left is my largest one that is 18 mm.

Picture 2- My Left Ovary- This is the picture that she called my three amigos because you can see 3 eggs all in a line. Again this is only from one angle so you can only see 4 follicles.One person at school said it looked like a paw print :)

Picture 3- Is my uterus which the doctor said looks perfect for a baby :)

So that is my good news for the day. I have to say I am feeling positive today. I started stocking up on pregnancy tests at target today and I allowed myself to look at baby clothes which I never do.

Still waiting on my lab work to come back, so as soon as it does I will update this post!

Got my lab work back and my E2 level looks great at 779 :) I go back bright and early tomorrow morning.

That's all for now! Love and Baby Dust!!!

Little Army of Eggs/ Day 6 Stim Appointment

Bright and early this morning was my day 6 of stimulation appointment. It started with blood work as always and then I had my ultrasound. Overall, my appointment went great. The doctor said I have a little army of eggs(follicles) on both sides that range from 10-12mm. Just to put that number into perspective they like to remove them at 17-21mm, preferably 21mm. The follicles will continue to grow 1-3mm a day. She said if she had to guess my retrieval would be on Tuesday of next week. The nurse also called this afternoon with the results from my estradiol level which was 247. The nurse said that is fine and to keep taking the same meds that I am currently on. So I guess everything is looking how it should. I go back to the doctor Friday morning to have another ultrasound and blood work. I will update again then :) So for now Love and Baby Dust!

Wishing On a Star

I am feeling much better this week. Since starting the stim shots my mood has been much better. I am feeling more and more back to my normal everyday. I can also tell that the stim shots are beginning to work because my ovaries are tender. Which is a very familar feeling because of taking clomid during my IUIs. I have read everywhere that Lupron is the devil and I have to say that I agree! I was very fortunate not to have to many headaches and hot flashes. But it did make me quite hateful. Even though I am still on a small dose of Lupron it is not having much effect on me anymore.
I went to therapy yesterday, which for those of you who don't know I go for my anxiety. I was talking to her about what I have talked about on here before that going through this has made me face all of my fears. Honestly, I hate that I have to go through all this but I think that it is good that I am facing my fears. The more I talked about it with her the more I know that I can get through this. I started talking about the many different things that are going on in my life and how things are really lining up. She said that it seems like the stars are going to align this time. So here I am truly hoping that the stars are aligning.
Throughout this process I have tried to be positive but I hate to get my hopes up again.Since I got pregnant on my own, I truly thought that the IUIs would work. But as we all know they didn't. I keep telling myself that with the IUIs I only had a 12% chance of it working the first time and then your chances go down from there. With IVF we have 75% chance of it working. I truly hope I am one of those 75%. I can't imagine being part of the 25%. Even though I have prepared myself to be one of those 25% people. I am grateful that we have the means to do IVF. I am grateful that we have the means to adopt if it comes down to that. So right now I am staying positive. I know that no matter what I will be a mommy!
Oh one other thing I am trying my hardest to kick caffeine. This is way harder than shots or anything else. I truly love my Diet Coke and sweet tea. I look forward to them through out my day. I have been drinking Coke forever so when I don't have it I get a horrible headache. I am cutting down from 4 a day to 1. So wish me luck :)